“Listen to yourself.Get off a round, he says, like this is the wild west! I told you not to go into this profession. Didn’t I tell you not to do it? They killed Tupac Shakur. They killed Biggie Smalls. It was all tied up into this very profession. Now they’re gunning for you.”
“Nobody’s gunning for me, Mother.” It was all kinds of ridiculousness to Hawk. “Is that why you traveled all this way?”
Reecie looked at him as if he had just offended her. “I know you don’t like it, but I’m your mother. I have always taken interest in what’s happening in your life.”
“Oh really now?” Hawk sounded doubtful.
“I’m certain you believe your father have.”
“At least he calls me every week. Sometimes I don’t hear from you for months. So excuse me if I don’t see all this interest you supposedly have for me.”
Reecie was staring at her son with what looked like unshed tears in her eyes to Janita, although it was probably just the way her eyes appeared. “You judge me so harshly, Hawthorne,” she said heartfelt. “You all do. But coming from my firstborn is intolerable.”
Janita could feel her pain. But Hawk could only feel her shame. “Me judging you, as you claim, is intolerable. But what father is doing to you isn’t? Give me a break, Mother!”
Reecie shook her head. “You are so hard on me.”
“I’m not hard on you.”
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not! I just don’t put up with bullshit,” Hawk said and gave his mother a hard look.
They stared at each other for several seconds, until Hawk broke the silence. “In any event, I’m fine. I wasn’t harmed at all. Is that it? Is that why you came?”
Janita thought that was rather harsh.
Reecie did too. But that had always been Hawk. “I also came to say hello,” she said.
Her words disarmed Hawk. It was as if he realized in that moment that he was being exactly as she described him: hard. He exhaled and backed off. “Hello, Mother.”
They stared at each other for what seemed like an inordinately long time. And then Reecie exhaled. And then she stood up, which caused Hawk and Janita to stand up too. “I’m bushed,” Reecie said. “I have no appetite for flying back tonight. I’ll fly back tomorrow. But right now, I’m going to bed.”
Janita wondered if Hawk would object to her spending the night too, but he didn’t.
“Let me show you to your room,” he said.
“You needed bother,” Reecie said. “You have several guest rooms. I’ll take one. You stay here and talk with Janita. Good night.”
Janita felt as if her worst fear was realized. She was leaving her alone with a man who acted as if he didn’t even want his own mother in his home. Let alone some stranger like her. She was mortified.
She looked at Hawk. But Hawk was staring at his mother as she made her way up his staircase. She was in every way beautiful. That was the catchword for his mother all his life. His father, his friends, his siblings all referred to her as beautiful.Never a great mother. Never a great cook. Never a great human being. Justbeautiful.
In many ways to Hawk, that was just tragic. And what was really tragic, he thought as he watched her ascend those stairs, was that his mother knew it was too.
When she was out of sight, he turned his attention back to Janita. That crazy jolt he felt when he first saw her was gone, but the aftershocks were still there. He still felt something every single time he looked her way. And it was disconcerting. And the way she was staring athim. “I’m an awful son,” he said. “Is that what you’re thinking?”
She quickly responded to him. “I’m not thinking that, no. That would be a conclusion I can’t reach because I don’t know you.”
“But?”
“Your mother loves her children,” Janita felt a need to say. “In the two months that I’ve been her . . .” She couldn’t bring herself to lie and say assistant. She was not that lady’s assistant. She was her bodyguard. “In the months that I’ve been around her, I’ve found her to really care about her children.”
“She cares about her children. Should she get a medal for caring about her children?”
Janita knew he knew she didn’t mean it like that. And she was not going to play his game. “I think I’ll call it a night,” she said.
Hawk knew he had offended her. And although he was being truthful, he regretted speaking to her in such a snide way. “My mother has her overnight bag. Did you bring any luggage that I need to retrieve for you?”
