‘What?’ I spin round to face her.
‘She knew the risks. She did a whole philosophical assessment of the what-if scenarios before she pushed that button. She did it anyway.’
‘Oh.’ Although to be honest I’m not sure it makes me feel any better.
‘Umm …’ Tyler starts. ‘So if she had zero qualms about doing this the first time, how do we stop her just doing it again? Starting a huge cycle where this happens over and over.’
Amina looks down at the table.
‘What are you going to do?’ I ask her.
Her interest in a patch of something sticky on the plastic table intensifies. ‘I have an idea,’ she almost whispers.
Tyler and I share a look. ‘Why do I think I’m not going to like your plan?’ he asks.
Amina looks up and shifts in her seat, drawing herself up to her full height. ‘She isn’t your problem. She’s my friend and I will deal with the situation, okay?’
‘What are you going to do? I ask again.
‘I’m going to tell her the experiment failed.’
‘But she’ll remember my world.’
Amina’s face twists into a sad smile. ‘Do you remember when you came out of the coma and they told you there could be side effects, lingering feelings of being in another place, delusions?’
I nod.
‘Well,’ she continues. ‘I’m going to tell her she was in a coma and it was all in her head.’
‘She won’t believe you.’
‘I’ve falsified all the experiment logs. And after you’ve gone I’m going to sabotage the machine so it looks like the whole thing melted when she shot herself with that first current.’
‘Show her the evidence …’
‘Exactly.’
I know what this Bethany did – and did willingly, with zero concern for the potential consequences. I know it was wrong of her. But my heart breaks for this version of myself who thought the only way out was to punch a hole into another world. She will wake up here again to be told her experiment was a failure and her experience of another universe – a better one, with Cesca and a job she loves and a cute flat full of pretty books – was just a figment of her imagination.
Amina touches my arm. ‘I’ll look after her. I promise.’
It’s ten thirty at night and the three of us are standing in the storage unit staring at the machine that might take me home.Willtake me home, I correct myself in Tyler’s voice. We’ve been chatting all evening, the three of us finding an easy camaraderie in the mundane, no one attempting to turn the conversation towards anything serious. But now we’ve fallen silent. It feels like an ending, which I suppose it is. For me at least.
Amina starts bustling around getting everything ready and Tyler comes to stand closer to me, his hand slipping into mine. We stand there for what feels like forever, although I don’t want the moment to end.
‘It’s all prepared,’ Amina says, and Tyler’s hand squeezes mine before he pulls away.
I take a deep breath and turn so I’m facing them both. ‘Thank you.’ My tone is almost solemn; these are important words and I’m giving them the gravity they deserve. ‘From the bottom of my heart.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Amina blurts out and then looks almost embarrassed, as if she didn’t quite mean to say it. She clears her throat and then continues. ‘I mean, for bringing you here. This was all my fault.’
‘It was this world’s Bethany,’ I reassure her.
‘But I should have stopped her.’
Tyler lets out a gruff laugh. ‘If your Bethany is anything like this one, there is no way you could have. That stubborn gene is something else.’
‘Oi,’ I exclaim, mock incredulous. Then I look back to Amina. ‘But he isn’t wrong. Once I – we – decide to do something, there isn’t much anyone can do to change our minds. Please don’t blame yourself.’
