Emmy shook her head. “You didn’t make me cry. At least not in a bad way.Daijo¯bu.”
“That one I know. It means ‘I’m alright’ or something, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah. Basically. ‘I’m alright’ or ‘It’s alright.’ How’d you know?”
He gave her a sheepish look. “I may have watched some anime in the original Japanese when I was a kid. It always bothered me that their mouths didn’t move with the words when I watched the dubbed versions.”
She allowed herself a smile and the tears faded into the background in the face of a solid friendship that she was coming to treasure more and more every day. “The hidden depths of Will Barrett.”
“Let me clear these dishes. I’ve got a little time before work. Wanna watch something?”
“Oh, absolutely. I’m learning to love public television craft shows. Just let me finish my coffee.”
“Yeah, I could use another cup myself.”
He refilled his mug and joined her at the table. It was clear he wanted to say something, but when he opened his mouth, no words came out. Emmy waited patiently for him to sort out his thoughts.
“So um… did you learn how to say some stuff in Japanese because… I mean… you’re Japanese, right? I realized I assumed, and I shouldn’t have. But I can’t necessarily tell, and…” He let out a humorless laugh and ran his hand through his hair. “Man, I am fucking this up. For the record, I am tryingreallyhard not to sound racist.”
She laughed and touched his hand to stop him from babbling any more. “It’s fine. I get it. Yes, I’m Japanese. I’m second-generation Japanese American, actually. The funny thing is, my parents were both born in America, but they met in Japan. They were both studying abroad at the same time, but they attended different universities. It was like… serendipity that they found each other. They spoke Japanese at home with me and my sister. English, too. We all kind of mix the two when we’re talking to each other. I still understand Japanese really well, but I started to speak English more and more as I got older, so I lost a lot of my spoken vocabulary. But… but just because I don’t speak it all the time doesn’t mean I’m ashamed of my heritage or something. I’ve been to Japan. I want to go back on my own someday. My dad said he’d help me brush up on the language after May’s wedding. I’m proud of who I am.” She felt her voice hitch, tried to control it. “There’s nothing wrong with that.” Tears that had retreated during her initial battle now returned with a vengeance. She could feel them pushing for freedom.
Pressing her hand to her mouth, she tried to hold back the sob, but it broke free anyway.
“Aw jeez.” Will pulled his chair around the table so he could put an arm around her shoulders. He squeezed, and then lifted his hand to press her head down onto his shoulder. Obviously panicked by the onslaught of tears, he began rambling at her. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. I’m so sorry. I never thought there was anything wrong with you being Japanese. And…” He took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. “You’ll get out of this. I promise. You’ll see your family again. You’ll practice Japanese with your dad.And if you miss your sister’s wedding, you can… make her do a reenactment or something.”
“It’s not that.” Emmy wiped desperately at the tears, then murmured a quick thank you when Will grabbed her a box of tissues off the counter. She dabbed at her eyes and blew her nose. “Or not entirely. Fuck. I thought I was over this. It’s been months.”
Will frowned. “Over what?”
Emmy crumpled the tissues in her hands. She needed a second, so she got up to throw them out. Then she ran cool water in the sink and splashed a little over her face. Will rose and came to stand behind her, but she didn’t turn around. Maybe it’d be easier to tell him if she wasn’t looking at him.
“I was seeing a guy for a while. My best friend’s older sister worked with him. He was the general manager at an upscale restaurant in Minneapolis. Hot guy. Single. Sarah’s sister figured we had enough in common to make it through a first date since I’m a concierge. Some overlap in our jobs. Hospitality and service industries.”
“Sure.”
“Anyway, the first date was a winner. He was funny. We bonded over work stories. There are always weird or demanding customers to laugh at. We dated more. Then we started staying over at each other’s places. It was going well, and we were talking about moving in together when his lease was up. But I thought it was weird that we were discussing such a big step when I hadn’t even met his parents. He’d met mine already.”
Emmy paused, thinking back on those tumultuous last weeks of her relationship with Andrew. It occurred to her that Lucy had been right. Again.They’dnever discussed movingin together.Emmyhad discussed it. Emmy had pushed for commitment. Andrew had evaded. He’d never had any intention of taking that step. How had she not seen that?
Will waited patiently while she sorted through her thoughts.
“I talked to him about it one night,” she said finally. “We were at my place, and I brought up meeting his parents. I’d mentioned it before, but this time I was a little more direct about it. I gave him a kind of ultimatum, told him I wanted to move in together, but only if he finally brought me to meet his family. He smiled in this kind of… pitying way, I guess. He said we should hold off for a while longer. I asked why, and he said it was because they were traditional people. He said it like I was supposed to understand what that meant, but I thought he was talking about like… how his parents believed a man and woman shouldn’t live together unless they were married.”
“I’m guessing that’s not what he meant,” Will said quietly.
Emmy shook her head, leaned over the sink. She felt his hands on her shoulders. A gentle touch, but it was enough to bolster her. She had to finish this. Maybe telling him about it would free her of those last lingering demons.
“When I asked for clarification, he said they had certain expectations for him. He said…Fuck. He said they needed time to adjust to our relationship. That they needed to be prepared before he brought a Chinese girl home to meet them.”
“Motherfucker,” Will growled.
“Yeah. Motherfucker,” she whispered. “I have absolutely no idea why I corrected him. I think I was in shock, or it was knee-jerk or something. But I told him I was Japanese. To this day, I can’t remember if we’d ever talked about my background when we first got together.But that’s a problem right there, isn’t it? We were talking about… No,Iwas talking about us living together, and he never once expressed an interest inme. Who I was. What my childhood was like. He never asked. You’ve known me for less than a month andyouasked. I’m even meeting your parents this weekend.God.” She pressed the heels of her hands to her forehead. “Why should it matter? It’s not like I would have beenlessinsulted if he’d gotten it right, if he’d said his parents wouldn’t want him bringing a Japanese girl home, so what the fuck difference does it make?”
“Because it’s… I was gonna say adding insult to injury, but that’s not… big enough. It’s more like… what am I trying to say? Bulking up? Bulking up the insult?”
“Heaping it on?” Emmy suggested.
“Yes! Thank you. It’s heaping insult onto injury.”
