I can do this.
Chapter Thirty-Two
THEO
What if he hates me?
James
He won’t hate you.
Noah
I don’t know… have you met Theo?
Caleb
Don’t make me smack you, Noah.
Thank you, Professor. I knew you loved me *heartemoji*
Caleb
Always *heart emoji*
James
When do you see him?
Today. He’s coming to the office after school.
Caleb
Need backup?
Thank you, but no. I need to do this by myself. I might need another pillow fort and a hug later though.
Caleb
Done.
James
Let us know how you get on. You got this, bro.
Once I learned what really happened with Blake, found out I was a dad, and processed the night with the guys, a steady calm settled in. The voices in my head weren’t so loud anymore. What that means, I don’t know. I just know that I don’t want to lose this feeling. I don’t want to lose the fact that something in my life feelsrightfor once.
It’s not lost on me that I act like a child half the time but still need to function like an adult. People see me as insecure—a toddler, a man-child—but I’m just trying to find where I fit into this world. What my purpose is and what I’ve done to deserve everything that’shappened to me. Mike says it wasn’t my fault, that I was just a kid, but sometimes I wonder if I was a terrible person in a previous life. If all of this is to repent for sins of the past. Who knows at this point. I just want to wake up in the morning and be happy with my life. To not feel like a failure who believes everything I touch turns to shit.
Blake and I have a long way to go to build bridges between us, but I feel like we’re heading in the right direction. Now I just need to win my son over, and I’m freaking the fuck out.
I’m so engrossed in work that I startle at the knock on the door. I glance up and see Blake standing in the doorway, shuffling around on her feet with her hands behind her back.
“What’s up?” I ask, my heart in my throat.
Is it time? I didn’t have an opportunity to go to the video game store to pick up more figurines and the hoodie I saw last time I was there. Shit. Bad dad already.
“I’d like to introduce you to someone,” she says gently, smiling.
