“Unfortunately,” I murmur.
Caleb smiles. “Ever heard the saying ‘there’s a fine line between love and hate?’ Maybe you still love her, and that’s where this anger’s coming from?”
I’m too tired to argue with him. Too scared to think about it being a possibility, because if it is… I’m in more trouble than I thought.
Chapter Twenty
THEO
Caleb and I sit in silence for a while, my head a mess of jumbled thoughts as I sip on my beer. Should I forgive Blake? Should I try to move past what happened ten years ago, or keep the hate alive and cause myself more stress? I don’t know what to do or how to feel.
Lauren walks into the kitchen, her long blonde hair hanging past her shoulders, still wet from her shower. She kisses Caleb and makes herself a cup of coffee.
Once she’s finished, she turns to me. “Who’s Blake?”
I groan, hitting my head on the counter. “Can we not talk about her?” My words come out mumbled since my face is smushed. “She’s taking up too much room in my brain right now. Can we talk about you two instead?”
“What do you want to know?” she asks.
I shrug. “Dunno. Just tell me shit to keep my mind busy.”
“Hmm, okay. Well, I started my new job on Monday as anEnglish teacher.”
I sit up, jerking my head toward her. “You started already? How was it?”
“So good,” she gushes, beaming. “The kids are great, and everyone has been so friendly. Still feels weird that I’m no longer a stripper and actually have a nine to five job now.” She chuckles.
“Will you ever go back to Strokes?” I ask, thankful to be moving on from the shitshow that is my fucking life.
Lauren shakes her head. “No, that part is over with now. It suited me at the time, but it was never going to be a long term thing.”
“She’s doing amazing,” Caleb says, jumping into the conversation. “After we got back from traveling, Lauren’s just gone from strength to strength.”
I feel slightly nauseated by the loving look he’s giving her, but I’m also jealous, wanting that for myself. I’ve never been one to want the wife and kids. I’m too fucked in the head to deal with it—hell, I can barely raise myself—but I can’t deny how my heart hurts when I know I’ll never allow myself to have that.
“Where did you go again? I was so upset you left me, I forgot,” I say with a pout.
Caleb laughs and ruffles my hair. I preen at the attention, rubbing my head into his hand. “We went to Italy, France, England, and then ended up snowed in for a week in the Scottish Highlands.” His face pitches, and Lauren snorts.
“I thought it was a fantastic time, thank you very much,” she retorts, eyes alive with laughter.
“You would,” he grumbles. “You didn’t get attacked by a crazy ass goat.”
“Henry was perfectly friendly,” Lauren chastises. “It wasn’t his…” She starts laughing, a hand coming up to cover her mouth. “His… fault he…” Lauren, struggling to get the words out, has me laughing too. “… got spooked and bit… your… ass.” By the time she’s finished, tears are streaming down her face from laughing so hard, and I’m not far behind her.
“Stop it,” I plead. “It hurts to laugh.” But I don’t stop, I keep going. I’m not sure if I’m on the verge of hysteria or if I actually thought it was that funny, but somehow it tickled me, thinking about Caleb being attacked by a tiny goat.
“You two are hilarious,” Caleb deadpans, running a hand down his face. “See how you like it when your pants get ripped so hard your ass is on display.”
I double down on my laughter, not knowing what to do with myself. Echoes of mine and Lauren’s combined voices fill the air. It reminds me of when I put glue on Blake’s chair, and her ass got stuck to it, which only makes me laugh that much harder.
It takes me a good five minutes before I can calm myself down enough to ask, “So what’s next for you guys?”
Caleb answers first. “I’m not sure, man. We’re just taking each day as it comes and enjoying what we have now.”
Lauren saunters over to him, her eyes filled with so much love. “That works perfectly for me.”
He nuzzles his head into her neck, and I’m ready to leave. Standing up, I say, “And on that note, I’m out of here.”
