The third time she repeated herself, something seemed to shift in him. His breathing began to slow and level out, and his eyes drifted shut once more. The grip he’d had on the covers loosened slightly, and he let out a long, shaky breath.
“Xavier?” Hannah murmured, still a little wary. Had she done the right thing? Perhaps she should have gone up to the lodge and got proper help for him. Wake up Sarah, or even herbrother. Lawson would have some words about Xavier being in her bed, but she knew he’d help his best friend. Either one of them would be more equipped to deal with this situation.
But then, Xavier’s eyes opened once more. They flitted around the room before settling on Hannah. He wiped away the sheen of sweat on his forehead and then reached out to take her hand. “Hannah?” he muttered. His voice was hoarse and quiet, but he was here—he was back with her, not lost to that nightmare that had just consumed him.
She breathed a sigh of relief. “Yeah, it’s me,” she told him, squeezing his hand. “Are you…are you okay?”
He paused before he replied, and she knew the answer before he spoke it out loud. Of course he wasn’t okay. How the hell could he be? Whatever he had just been through, it had been really bad. Even last night, faced with the car crash and having to find a way out of the sinking SUV, he hadn’t looked as shaken as he was right now.
She hated seeing him like this, but the fact that he didn’t feel the need to hide it from her felt like a big shift. A huge relief.
“No, not really,” he replied. “I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”
She shook her head. “I was already up,” she assured him. “I saw there was something wrong. Do you…do you have nightmares like this a lot?”
“Usually worse,” he admitted.
Her eyes widened. Worse? How could they be worse than that?
“I’m sorry,” he murmured again.
She gripped his hand a little tighter. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” she promised him. “I—I knew things were bad, but I didn’t realize just how bad they were for you. This has been happening for a while now?”
“Since the fire,” he replied with a sigh, propping himself up. He still seemed a little off, as though he was still shaking off the remnants of the nightmare.
She thought, for a moment, about asking him what he had dreamed about but quickly decided against it. As curious as she was, she didn’t want to ask him to go through those memories again, especially when they were still so fresh in his mind. The best thing she could do was show him support, let him know she was there for him and encourage him to get proper help.
“I’m sorry you’re having to deal with that. I do hope you’ll reconsider talking to Sarah about them,” she added gently. He had seemed resistant to it before, but a lot had changed since then. Between them, especially. She hoped it would be enough for him to stop denying himself the help he so clearly needed.
“Yeah, I am,” he replied. “I don’t even know where to start, though.”
“You don’t need to know where to start,” she reminded him. “That’s what she’s there for. She’ll know how to sort through all of this way better than either of us could.”
He nodded but then offered her a smile. “I think you did a pretty damn good job there,” he remarked.
She glanced away from him, shaking her head. “Oh, I just did what anyone would do.”
“You did amazing,” he replied firmly. “I don’t know many people who could pull someone out of a flashback like that, especially without some form of training.”
“Sarah offered to guide me through the basics a while back. Thought it would be good to know working here. Never thought I’d have to try it out.”
“You handled it just fine. You didn’t panic or get frustrated or overreact,” he pointed out. “You shouldn’t downplay it, Hannah. You should be proud of yourself. I sure am. I would be doing a lotworse right now if it wasn’t for you. I’m usually a whole lot more stressed and anxious when I come out of a nightmare.”
He pulled her to him, and she snuggled against his chest, grateful for their closeness once more. His presence next to her was everything she needed right now, even if she could still feel some of the tension in his body from that nightmare he’d just had.
And she knew it wouldn’t be the last time she would have to talk him down from one of those flashbacks. It didn’t work that way. No matter how much better things seemed to be between them now, how much closer they’d become after sharing their feelings for each other.
Healing wouldn’t happen immediately; it would take time and proper therapy for him. At least he was willing and ready to try, and she’d be there for him in whatever capacity she could be to help him through it.
She wanted Xavier no matter what he was dealing with; wanted to be with him fully and completely. She wanted to be with him as he healed, to see him grow and change into the man he wanted and deserved to be. The man who was free from the pain and guilt he had carried around for so long. She didn’t want him to live in the past and suffer over and over again, reliving his brother’s death.
Hannah closed her eyes and nestled against him, breathing in his scent. She was so thankful that they had finally been open and honest about their feelings. And that they were together. Despite the stress of the nightmare, she was content and happy.
He pushed a hand through her hair and kissed her temple, and she smiled against his chest. Yeah, she might just stay in bed a little longer yet.
Chapter Fifteen
Xavier shifted in the chair. He wasn’t sure why, but he didn’t like the feel of it. It was comfortable, almost too comfortable, like it would have been all too easy to just sink in to the soft fabric and never get out. He had already pulled off all the pillows and piled them on the floor in front of him when Sarah had told him to arrange the room however he felt most at ease, and he was sure she already thought he was crazy for that.
