Mason
Was she still peeing when you barged in and declared your love for her?
Me
Fuck off.
Mason
I think if I were a chick and you were obsessed with me, then I’d flee to Vancouver too. At least then, I could take a leak in peace.
Me
Fuck off.
Mason
But seriously, what are you going to do when you arrive in Vancouver? Do you even have her sister’s address?
Me
Yeah. Her sister texted it to me before I booked the flight.
Mason
I have no words other than wow. You even have Drew’s family wrapped around your finger. Well, other than Coach, who will bury you under the rink when he finds out that you’re boning his eldest daughter.
Me
We’ve slept together once—if you count multiple times that night and then again in the morning as one session—and I’m not chasing her for sex.
Okay, maybe I’m hoping for a little bit of sex while I’m there, but not just for that.
Mason
Thanks for the breakdown of your first sexual encounter with Drew. I really appreciated that. What else do you have planned besides rolling around in bed with your publicist?
Me
Fuck me, man. I’m really fucking glad these messages are encrypted.
Mason
Same.
Me
What’s the latest with Eloise?
Mason
She isn’t answering my calls, and I can’t say that I blame her. Would you pick up after seeing those images with the blonde girl in Brooklyn?
Me
Probably not. Sounds like you should book a flight to France.
Mason
