“This was Debbie’s old room,” I said, coming up behindthem. “The stars on the ceiling that we couldn’t peel off still glow.”
“Yes, it’s so cool,” my daughter gushed as she rummaged through one of the drawers in her toy box.
“Can I give you a makeover, Stella?” Bennie asked, her hands clasped under her chin.
“The Bennet Orrico makeover is a rite of passage here,” I told Stella. “I’ve had a few.”
“His hair is too short for any clips.” Bennie peered up at me, tapping her chin. “But your hair is longer now, so maybe I could?—”
“Focus on Stella,” I said, sneaking Stella a grin. “You can always make me over.”
“Okay, sit,” Bennie said, pointing to the floor.
“She means business,” Stella quipped as she settled herself onto the carpet and crossed her legs under her.
“You should see her at Bats’ practice,” I scoffed.
“Your hair is so long and beautiful,” Bennie said with a gasp, taking a piece between her fingers. “A hair tie will ruin it.”
I leaned against the wall, crossing my arms as Bennie fussed over Stella. When I’d first met Stella in the group, her hair had been even longer. It had fallen in front of her face like a shield she was hiding behind. Now, it cascaded down her back in waves, almost reaching her waist as Bennie made her tip her head back.
Beautiful, just like my daughter had said.
“A headband would be better,” Bennie said, pulling me out of my memories as she searched through the drawer.
“Okay, I found three,” she finally said, breathless. More hair fell out of her ponytail, making us both laugh as she blew it out of her eyes.
“I found two with flowers and one with bows.I didn’t know which one would look the best, so I took them all.” Bennie plopped herself next to Stella on the floor and set the headbands in front of her.
“Turn around. We have a lot to do.”
“Turn around,please,” I prompted, arching a brow when she lifted her head.
“Sorry, Daddy. Please, Stella, turn around.”
Stella swiveled around so Bennie could set one of the headbands on Stella’s head. Petals from the large flowers drooped over it, probably from being handled so much and living at the bottom of my daughter’s messy drawer.
“Look, you’re so pretty!”
Stella craned her neck to me, holding the headband in place.
“I can’t see it. How does it look?” Stella’s smile was wide and genuine, as if she enjoyed Bennie’s beauty torture, her light eyes shining as they found mine.
“Great,” I said with a rasp, clearing my throat as soon as I caught it.
My mother was right; Stella had been pretty all her life, and now she was breathtaking. And watching her light up while playing with my daughter got me right in the chest like a sucker punch.
“I’ll let you ladies get to it. If anyone needs me, I’ll be cleaning up.”
“Bye, Daddy,” Bennie said without looking back. Stella gave me a smile and a shrug as Bennie switched the headband off Stella’s head for another one.
I trudged down the stairs, my legs heavy, and I couldn’t take in a full breath, the usual angry knot coiling in my stomach when the what-ifs would run through my brain.
Katie was missing all of this. She hadn’t known our daughter as anything more than a toddler, and there was somuch more to Bennie now. They’d bothmissed out on each other, and I hated that with every cell in my body.
But my daughter didn’t know any better. She’d laugh and play with her aunt and a new friend, and she’d never felt like she missed out on anything because she didn’t remember having a mother.
I both hated that she didn’t feel Katie’s loss now and how it would hit her when she grew older and needed her mother.
