“So what do you do at the senior center?” I asked, snickering while Stella glowered back at me.
“I’ve been hanging out with Mom and her friends. Weplay bingo sometimes. It’s relaxing, I guess. Although the ladies there are a little cutthroat when they play.”
“So that’s why you’re back? To play bingo with your mother on a Friday afternoon?”
“I did come back to see her more, but I didn’t have a real plan. I still don’t.” Her gaze drifted while her chest rose and fell with a slow breath.
I turned and stepped in front of her. “Not going to lie, Stell. You have me a little worried.”
“Please don’t be. I’m fine now,” she whispered, almost to herself.
“You’re finenow? That’s not helping.”
“Lee, stop. It’s a long story.”
“Well, for the next few hours, I have nothing but time to hear it. Where are you parked?”
“I took the train since I didn’t know what parking would be like. Plus, I need to get acclimated as a New Yorker again.” She popped her brows. “Nothing like a subway ride to bring it all back.”
“I’m sure,” I said, searching her gaze. “There’s a good Italian place up the block. We can walk there, and I’ll take you home later.”
“Sounds great. Are you sure you don’t have to be home for Bennie?”
“I let my sister know I had plans with you so she can put her to bed for me. Although since tomorrow is a school conference and she’s off, she’ll probably be up when I get home. I have plenty of time to find out whatever it is you’re telling me I shouldn’t be worried about.”
I arched a brow.
“Will you let me buy dinner since you didn’t let me pay for anything here?”
“Nope,” I said, popping the p.
The corner of her mouth tipped up when her gaze snagged on mine. I dropped my head, averting my eyes from her mouth again.
Stella was pretty, and I was worried about her. Whatever reaction I was having was from protective and human feelings, nothing more.
I didn’t have time for more, even if a woman weren’t double off-limits. I didn’t have time for anything since dinner with a friend would be a rare luxury in the future without live-in babysitters.
“Hey,” Stella said, “where did you go just now?”
“Nowhere. Sorry, Stell. I have…a lot on my mind.”
“You said. Or hinted at,” she said, examining my face while we made our way up the block to the restaurant. “How late is this place open?” she joked when we came up to the door. “Sounds like we have a lot to cover.”
She turned toward me, her eyes glowing as they flicked up to mine. It brought me back to a different time, when the three of us came together over tragedy and yet life was a hell of a lot simpler than it was now.
I was worried about Stella, worried about my daughter and putting her through another adjustment—one she was old enough to remember this time—and worried about making it even worse because I had no plan.
“After you,” I said, pulling the door handle for her to walk ahead.
Her smile shrank as she nodded, something flitting across her face so fast, I almost didn’t catch it.
“If I’m going to live here, you can’t feed me every time. Next time is all me.” She poked my chest and stepped inside.
The wordnexthadmade my throat close up lately.Next week, next month, next year. Without a plan, next was a scary fucking word.
“We’ll see,” was all I told her as I followed her.
Having Stella here was already a relief. She’d known me long and well enough that I didn’t have to pretend everything was okay and I had it all handled, when I absolutely did not have a handle on anything.
