“I want to own you too,” she whispers.
I pause, raising my eyes to her. She hasn’t moved, lying comfortably on her side as she continues her pose for me. “Is that so?”
She bites her lip, hiding a mischievous smile, and I decide that’s the exact expression I’m going to put on her face when I finish this sketch. “Would you let me tattoo you?”
“You’re awfully possessive, Little Vice,” I drawl. “Maybe somewhere hidden, where only you’d see it, because I’m confident you’d probably do a terrible job.”
“Rude.” She bursts with laughter, rolling back on the couch, and I consider drawing that look instead. Her laughter is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. “Can I tattoo you tonight? When you’re done drawing me?”
I slowly raise my brow at her. “Only if you let me give you one too. Whatever I want, and wherever I want.”
She drapes an arm over her side, tilting herself in a way that exposes more of her breasts and hips, tossing me a playful smile. “My body is your canvas, Augustus.”
31
VIOLET
VIOLET“MAD WOMAN” – TAYLOR SWIFT
“You know,I haven’t missed an appointment in months. You probably don’t need to be my chaperone anymore.”
Darby frowns at me from the driver’s seat of her baby blue Mustang, blond hair whipping around her face in the wind as we cruise down the main drag of Pacific Shores. “I like coming with you. It gets me out of the shop. Plus, you never say no to any of the lunch places I want to eat.”
I shrug. That’s true. And she’s been on a pizza kick lately, which is unfortunate for me and my lactose intolerance, because I can’t turn down cheese to save my goddamn life.
“You seem to be doing well, though.” Her hazel eyes flick to me from behind her sunglasses. “Is that because of therapy or…something else?”
I roll my eyes, coughing a laugh. “Therapy does help, but so does she.”
Kelsey and I dove deeper into my past with Elena, and to my utter surprise, Kelsey never once made me feel guilty about it. About being with Elena then, or being with her now, about falling in love with my brother’s girlfriend and refusing to let her go, even after he died.
She does think it’s a complex situation, and the only way to find resolution is if Elena and I learn to be completely honest with each other, communicate better, and adopt some healthier outlets for our grief.
Today, though, she told me that she actually thinks I’m making strides in that, and it finally feels like hope is beginning to bloom.
“Leo has been asking about you two a lot.” She arches a brow. “Asking what I know—if there is something going on.”
“I don’t expect you to lie to your husband for me, Darbs.”
“I know.” She sighs. “And I wouldn’t. But you don’t tell me much either, so I’m essentially as in the dark as he is. The only thing I know is how you feel, but I don’t know how she feels or what you two are up to.”
I swallow awkwardly, my cheeks heating.
She only laughs. “The guys definitely suspect you’re having sex, but if it’s more than that…I think you owe them a conversation about it.”
I nod. I have enough respect for my two best friends to ensure they understand I wouldn’t take advantage of their sister in any sense of the word, but considering our history, I think they know that already. They know I love her; what they don’t understand is the depths of it.
I can’t explain that to them without explaining everything, and that’s where I begin to hesitate.
Someday, we’ll need to sit them down and tell them the entirety of our history. It’ll be painful for all of us, but I think it’s the only way Elena and I can have any kind of future.
“Is it?” Darby asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
“What?”
“Is it just sex?” She parks in the lot behind the boardwalk, taking the space in front of Honeysuckle Florals before killing the engine and turning to face me. “I only ask because if thisarrangement is some kind of…coping mechanism for the two of you, I worry about the outcome, were it to end. Would she turn back to alcohol if you got into a fight?” She lifts her sunglasses above her head, revealing soft, solemn eyes. “Would you begin to have your…thoughts again?”
“No. No, Darby.” I shake my head. “I’m doing better about all of that, I promise. Elena is too. It is more than sex,” I admit. “And I have no intention of it ever ending, but we’re still trying to figure out what our version of more is. What our version of happiness looks like.” I rub the back of my neck anxiously. “I think we just need the time and space to figure that out on our own before we start involving other people. It creates complications we’re not yet fit to handle.”
