I cackle at that before it dawns on me. “No.” I smile. “I’d call it Sugar and Vice. It’s all romance, with a range from sickly sweet rom-coms to delicious dark romance to enticing erotica.”
“Oh, that’s fucking good. All that alliteration? That’s a tagline right there.” Dahlia nods. “You should have the shelves categorized by extreme niches, though. Instead of genres. Like a When She Calls Him Good Boy section, or Secret Tattoo, or Public Indecency.”
“Mom, please stop,” Lou mutters, causing us all to laugh.
We volley a few more names back and forth before the conversation merges into different topics. Darby’s due date, herbirth plan, and how excited she is to finally have her baby girl. We talk about Dahlia, Lou, and Everett’s summer trip that he finally surprised her with a few weeks ago, and I make tremendous effort to bite back the giggle I want to let out as I think about Everett’s plan to propose over the summer.
I didn’t realize it until just now, but this is the first time I’ve stepped on the beach since moving home from New York a year ago. The first time I’ve stepped foot on the beach since before Zach died.
I thought I’d never do so again, or when I did, it’d be painful and sad, but right now, it feels like this moment was the exact reason I waited so long. So that I could do it with people who would make it feel okay. I know that guilt and grief will always linger, but as I watch the world cast in shades of blue and gold, and the sea air whips at my face, smelling like home, I realize that there is a life beyond that hurt.
Maybe it is true after all: the presence of pain doesn’t have to equate to the absence of happiness.
35
VIOLET
“SPACE SONG” - BEACH HOUSE
Elena
I’m hanging out with Darby, Dahlia, and my mom after work. I’ll be home later!
I smile,reading over the text message from Elena that she sent hours ago. It’s long past dark when I lock up the building and head out to my car. I call Elena on the drive home to check if she ate with the others or if I should pick something up, but she doesn’t answer.
Her car isn’t in the driveway when I pull up, which has me pausing. It’s well past nine o’clock, and I assumed Elena would be home by now. I try calling her again, and my stomach drops when I hear her voicemail for a second time.
I try Darby next, but she doesn’t answer either.
My breath lodges in my throat, breathing heavy as I scramble to pull up Leo’s contact name and try him next. If something had happened, surely, they would’ve let me know, right?
I sigh with relief as Leo answers on the third ring. “Hey, Auggie.”
“Do you know where your sister is? Did Darby come home? She sent me a text earlier that she was going out with them, but she’s still not home, and I’m?—”
“Come over, Augustus.” Leo laughs. “Take a damn breath and meet us at my house.”
Before I can ask any follow-up questions, he ends the call. I immediately back out of my driveway and make the four-block commute to where he and Darby live. Elena’s car is parked across the street, Everett’s orange Jeep and Dahlia’s Honda are both against the curb, and Leo and Darby’s Mustang is in the driveway.
I pull behind Dahlia’s car and hop out of mine, jogging up the front steps. The house looks like it could be on the cover ofBetter Homes & Gardenswith the way Darby has landscaped the front with honeysuckles and hydrangeas, and the cozy elegance of the white wrap-around porch and the soft blue-painted two-story cottage-style layout.
I don’t bother knocking, and it’s mostly quiet as I enter. The house is painted in dim lighting, only the lamp in the front entryway illuminating the space, while the dining room to my left, and kitchen through it, are dark. The staircase directly in front of me that leads to the second floor is also dark, and a faint warm glow seems to come from the living area around the corner from the front door.
Everett startles me as he appears around that corner a second later, smiling as he holds a finger to his lips. He nods for me to follow him.
When I turn the corner, I’m taken aback by the sight that has become the living room of Darby and Leo’s home. There are blankets and pillows piled high in front of the couch, and small lights strung up all around the room with tacks. A bowl of popcorn sits on the floor half-eaten, along with a pan of brownies and three bags of assorted potato chips.
Darby lies on her side on the massive, plush sofa, sleeping soundly. Two figures are just visible under the mound of blankets on the floor, but Dahlia’s and Elena’s faces peek out of them—both asleep as well.
Flashes of light filter over all of their faces, and I turn to realize that a movie is still playing on the television mounted to the wall.
Everett stands beside me, watching them as he smiles, and I find Leo on the other side of the room, leaning against the wall while he does the same.
“They’re having a sleepover,” Leo whisper-shouts, walking across the room and patting me on the back as he passes me. “Let’s let them sleep. Help me build some baby furniture.”
He begins ascending the stairs, and Everett and I follow him up to the second-story hallway. "Leo opens the door to the room at the end of the hall, flipping on the light to reveal a pastel-yellow painted nursery. One wall is covered in a mural of flowers and vines. A crib sits against that wall, with a rocking chair in the corner, what I assume is a changing station beside it, and a small couch beneath the window.
“I need to build that dresser.” Leo nods to a large cardboard box sitting at the center of the room. Everett opens the box as I begin pulling out its parts, and Leo reads through the instructions.
