“I took accelerated courses, so I was ahead of my age group in school.”
“Still. Anyway, about me.” He lifted his glass, toasted her, drank. “She was my first. The first always has a little hold on you, right?”
“You mean first sexual consummation. I don’t have any emotional attachment to my first sexual partner.”
“You’re a tough audience, Abigail. When she dumped me—for a college freshman, football captain—she dumped me hard. I’m talking kick-in-the-balls, fist-in-the-teeth hard.”
“I don’t understand why someone chooses to hurt a previous partner before moving on to another. I’m sorry she chose to.”
“I got over it, or figured I had. Then I moved to Little Rock, did ten years. When I came back, the woman in question was in the process of shedding husband number two.”
“I see.”
He realized how it all sounded, how he made Sylbie sound—all from his perspective. “She’s not as hard-hearted as I’m making her, but I’m still a little pissed off, and that colors it. So when I came back, took the job here, I was busy for the first couple months. Settling in, and my father wasn’t well.”
“I’m sorry. I hope he’s better.”
“He is, thanks. He’s good. A little while back, Sylbie and I revisited the past, we’ll say.”
“You had sex with her.”
“I did, a time or two. A couple weeks ago, we had an encore. But it just wasn’t there for me.” He studied his wine with a frown. “Maybe you can’t go back.”
“Why would you, if what was back was a mistake?”
“Good point. But, you know, sex. I decided I had to resist yet another repeat performance, and I’d have to tell her—which I should have done straight out instead of evading, avoiding. This afternoon, she…well, what she did was have the guy who runs the shop where she has some of her art displayed, and where she works part-time, call me down there. Officially.”
His conversational style, Abigail thought, was like his mother’s. Personal, rambling. Fascinating. “He reported a crime?”
“A dispute, which required my intervention. Instead, she’s there alone, with the idea we’ll make some use of the back room.”
“To have sex?”
“Yeah. I’m reasonably sure that was the plan, particularly since when I didn’t jump on that idea, she dropped her dress. She just”—he flicked out a hand—“dropped it, and she’s standing there in her skin and red shoes.”
“She’s confident, and was probably certain of your agreement.”
“Confident on some level, and I didn’t agree. I was…”
“You said it was awkward and uncomfortable.”
“It was all that. Not that I didn’t…”
“You were aroused. It’s natural.”
“Like a reflex. But mostly? It just pissed me off. I was on duty, for God’s sake, and she sweet-talked an easy mark to call me down.”
Abigail considered it a fascinating example of human dynamics and miscommunication. “It appears she might not fully understand how seriously you take your duties.”
“I’m not a horny teenager. I’m the chief of the goddamn police.”
The spike of his temper, and the guilt so clearly wrapped around it, added another level of interest. “You’re still angry with her, and with yourself for the natural reflex.”
“I guess I am. I had to tell her I didn’t want her—partly because of ground I already covered here, partly because, for Christ’s sake, she didn’t show an ounce of respect foreither of us. Another part was knowing I was going to have to slap poor Grover back for making the call, scare the shit out of him so he didn’t pull a stunt like that again.”
“That’s several parts.”
“And I’ve got one more. I realized when I was looking at this beautiful, naked woman I’d once loved the way you love when you’re sixteen, I didn’t want her for all the reasons I just said. And because I want you.”
