“Yeah, I’m angry, and pushing it down some because you’re crying and obviously torn up about things you won’t tell me, or feel you can’t. I’m pushing it down some because I’m in love with you.”
The tears she’d nearly had under control flooded back, hot and fast as the panic. On a sob she stumbled to the door, fought the locks open, rushed out.
“Abigail.”
“Don’t. Don’t. I don’t know what to do. I need to think, to find somecomposure.You should go until I can speak rationally.”
“Do you think I’d leave you alone when you’re twisted up like this? I tell you I love you, and it feels like I broke your heart.”
She turned, her hand fisted over her heart, her eyesdrenched with tears and emotion. “No one ever said that to me. In my life, no one’s ever said those words to me.”
“I’m making you a promise right here that you’ll hear them from me every day.”
“No—no, don’t promise. Don’t. I don’t know what I’m feeling. How do I know it’s not just hearing those words? It’s overwhelming to hear them, to look at you, and to see you mean them. Or it seems you do. How do I know?”
“You can’t know everything. Sometimes you have to trust. Sometimes you have to just feel.”
“I want it.” She kept her hand clutched over her heart, as if opening her fingers would allow it all to fly away. “I want it more than I can stand.”
“Then take it. It’s right here.”
“It’s not right. It’s not fair to you. You don’t understand; you can’t.”
“Abigail.”
“That’s not even my name!”
She slapped a hand over her mouth, sobbed against it. He only stepped to her, brushed tears from her cheek.
“I know.”
Every ounce of color draining, she stumbled back, gripped the porch rail. “How could you know?”
“You’re running or hiding from something, or someone. Maybe some of both. You’re too damn smart to run and hide under your real name. I like Abigail, but I’ve known it’s not who you are right along. The name’s not the issue. Your trusting me enough to tell me is. And it looks like we’re getting there.”
“Does anyone else know?”
“Scares the hell out of you. I don’t like that. I don’t see why anyone else would know, or care. Have you let anyone else get as close as you’ve let me?”
“No. Never.”
“Look at me now.” He spoke quietly as he moved to her. “Listen to me.”
“I am.”
“I’m going to tell you I won’t let you down. You’re goingto come to believe that, and we’ll go from there. Let’s try this part again. I’m in love with you.” He eased her into a kiss, kept it soft until she’d stopped trembling. “There, that wasn’t so hard. You’re in love with me. I can see it, and I can feel it. Why don’t you try the words?”
“I don’t know. I want to know.”
“Just try them out, see how it feels. I won’t hold you to it.”
“I…I’m in love with you. Oh, God.” She closed her eyes. “It feels real.”
“Say it again, and kiss me.”
“I’m in love with you.” She didn’t ease in, but flung herself. Starving for that knowledge, the gift, the light of it. Love. Being loved, giving it.
She hadn’t believed in love. She hadn’t believed in miracles.
