“Don’t worry, silly. I’ve got you.” Azarin casually blew off my rightfully justified concerns. “I’ve broken plenty of eagles. You just need to let them know who’s boss. If you don’t, they’ll scrape you off on a mountainside or climb high and then go into such a steep dive that you’ll float right out of the saddle, and when they pull up, you keep going without them!”
“That rarely happens to our customers. All of Smorp Brothers flying mounts receive some obedience training in their home realms before we take delivery of them here in the Core.We can’t have our richest customers plummeting to their doom now, can we? That’s terrible for repeat business.”
It was still Fireday, so the heat coming through the gate made the market pleasant to me for once, but even here in the shadow of the Great Machine, it seemed most of the thousands of Core dwellers nearby were huffing and sweating. As usual, the place was packed with people, and the noise of endless commerce was deafening. This section of the market was especially vibrant and colorful, as everything grew in the Realm of Life. We passed creatures of a dozen races buying strange fruits and vegetables and the pelts of animals I’d never seen before.
When we approached the big metal gates of animal emporium, there was a single watchmen posted there, armed with a big wooden staff that obviously had some powerful enchantments on it.
“Don’t mind him. It’s protocol for the watch to keep someone with a disintegration spell on hand ever since the unfortunate Great Wyvern Escape of ’75.”
“Ooh, you’ve got wyverns? Impressive.”
“Apologies, Lady Garzade. Wehadwyverns. Hence the escape part.” Morton waved at the watchmen. “Good day.”
“Good day to you, Mr. Smorp. It’s been a while.”
“That it has.” Morton proudly swung open the gate for us. “Welcome to Smorp Brothers.”
There were pens, cages, and tanks of water everywhere. The noise was even more overwhelming in here than out in the market. Except instead of haggling, it was hooting, crowing, barking, and grunting. And the smell. Saints alive,that smell.The only animals I’d ever worked with were Trogs, and those slime-coated things were downright fragrant compared to the pungent odor that hit my nostrils in here. Fogo didn’t really have much in the way of animals—at least the kind that weren’t made of fire—so this was rather overwhelming.
“Welcome to Smorp Brothers. How may I assist you today?” A gnome in an apron approached us smiling helpfully, then he saw Morton, and his expression changed to surprise, then anger. “What’reyoudoing here?”
“Hello, Herbert.”
“Hello, abandoner. Because yes, that’s what we call you now, Morton, after you selfishlyabandonedus.”
The two tiny creatures squared off, and both were so flustered, I thought we were going to get to watch a gnome fight.
“I didn’t abandon you. I provided two weeks’ notice!”
“You broke Mother’s heart when you told her you were leaving to study wizardry. What kind of foolish career iswizardanyway?”
That was an ironic question to ask, while surrounded by animals that had been gathered from several different planes of existence and brought through a world-spanning portal powered by a rotating man-made mountain to a city filled with magical wonders.
“Wizardry is every bit as respectable a trade as zookeeping!”
“Preposterous!”
Having brothers myself, I knew it would take them a minute to get the arguing out of their system, so I went over to see what was in the nearest cages. Some were easy to identify, as I’d seen dogs, cats, and mice before. A few I could recognize from theEncyclopedia Ettymus, like the monkeys and turtles. But the rest were mysteries. I could reason out a few, as there was a creature that looked a lot like our volcano snails, except this one didn’t have red flesh or a black iron shell. It was all grey and boring, so that must have been a regular snail. Only it was the same size as the dogs, which was odd, considering I’d been told regular snails were small… It got me to thinking, though… If there was an iron shell version that big, I could probably level a city block with the resulting grenade.
In the water tanks were various kinds of fish and crunchy things with hands like pliers and lots of extra legs. Another glass tank had a ball-shaped creature that appeared to be made out of several hundred eyes. It floated there, staring at me with most of them.
“Don’t tap the glass,” Morton and Herbert both snapped at me simultaneously the instant I raised my finger to tap the glass. Then they went back to their argument.
As I wandered past the smaller cages, I realized there were rows and rows of bigger enclosures behind them. The first one had brown furry things with antlers, the second had scaly beasts that looked like quadrupedal versions of Sifuso, though they were probably slightly dumber, and the third held a larger version of monkey, only these were bright yellow and had an extra set of arms. When one of those burped, fire came out.
Fascinating as all this was, we were running out of time, so I returned to Morton’s side to see if I might be able to hurry them up.
“You never wanted to clean out the pegasus’ stalls,” Herbert shouted. “You always left that to me, and they poop so very much!”
“I told you, I’ve got a note from the doctor saying I’m allergic to horses. That includes pegasi, unicorns, and all of the magical mutant half breeds. Even centaurs.”
“Centaurs are not animals, Morton. They are payingcustomers.”
“I’m aware! I can be allergic to customers too. And what’s your excuse for always leaving the care and feeding of the blobs and gelatinous monsters to me?”
“You know I simply can’t abide the boneless ones.” Herbert shuddered. “They’re sosquishy.”
“Thus proving my point. My condition is medical, while yours is all in your head!”
