“Not it,” Azarin said quickly.
“Krachma does notwrite.”
“Alas, my swordsmanship is better than my penmanship. How about you, Carnavon?”
“I’m already treasurer.” Not that we ever had enough money for that office to matter. I looked to Trax. “Congratulations. You’ve been elected secretary of the Academy of Outcast’s student council.”
“I have never held a title among humans before.”
“Trax says he’ll be honored to serve.”
He stopped crunching a rotten ham hock long enough to look at me with his beady black eyes. “Secretary? What does that word mean? Do I get to eat anyone?”
His mission among the land creatures was to study our ways, and every night, he recorded his observations onto a magical crystal sphere which served the same purpose to him as a notebook would to us, since undersea creatures didn’t have paper. “Just remember what we say in these meetings and put it on your thought globe thing.”
“I shall remember this extra hard.”
“So as much as our situation stinks, and we’re bound to get screwed somehow, we’re in agreement about working with the Latros, then.”
“I’m sure it will be fine, Carnavon,” Rade assured me. “Remember our little jaunt to my homeland? A few hours of work netted us a tidy amount of Black—it would’ve been a fortune if my damnable relatives hadn’t come along—and it wasthat very element which later saved your life from a corrupt inspector of the watch.”
“I recall on thatlittle jaunta Death Elemental wanting to hollow one of us out to wear our corpse as a suit.”
“That was but a small setback on our road to glory!”
Somedays I wished I’d just stayed a miner on a barge. “Alright, we’re committed to this foolishness. Now, how do we get the students onboard after Joran scared the piss out of them?”
“I don’t know if we can,” Azarin said. “Two of them packed their things and walked out before you even got back from Carcalla’s. The idea of being on the Latrocinium’s bad side was enough to unnerve them.”
I’d not known about the desertions. “Which ones left?”
“Nils and Luwan.”
That was disappointing, as both of them had been halfway talented, and they hadn’t done anything too annoying since we’d taken them in. The only thing keeping them from a spot in the real academies was that neither had come from money. “It’s not a good sign that our smartest students were the ones to get out while they could. At least they shared their spells first. Too bad it wasn’t some of the dumber ones abandoning us.”
Rade laughed at our misfortune. “You’re the one who keeps letting in every mangy stray. I know the Collegium’s exclusionary nature insulted you, but there’s a reason those schools are picky… Let me motivate the rest. I’ll give a speech that’ll put a fire in their bellies. Those who are cowards may leave. We’re better off without them. Then we’ll take all the brave souls who remain, and lay waste to the monsters on this island of whatever it’s called.”
“Korthican’s Warning.”
“Yes. We’ll go there, slay our foes, retrieve Carcalla’s treasure, and the reputation of our academy will grow across thecity. Better recruits will flock to our door, bringing their superior spells and purses heavy with Obols!” Rade grinned at his grand vision. “That’s settled. Now on to our second order of business.”
“Let me guess,” I said. “We’re almost out of element, money, food, and every other resource needed to run a functioning school? And we really need some higher-ranking teachers to keep our morons from unleashing curses, but we can’t afford to hire anyone, and only a sucker would volunteer to help the likes of us?”
Rade laughed. “That goes without saying, my friend! But this isnewbusiness.”
The black-eyed, white-haired, corpse-looking people of the Elemental Plane of Death were supposed to be dour, but Rade was just so obnoxiously chipper that it was impossible to dislike the man.
“What now?”
“We must add to that list that we require the services of a tester as soon as possible. This issue can no longer be delayed.”
“Rade’s right,” Azarin said. “Nobody worth a shit is going to join up unless there’s a chance for them to advance. Achieving higher ranks opens more doors, and we’re studying our butts off trying to get better. Except, even if we do manage to increase in skill, that means nothing until a tester makes it official.”
The Testers’ Guild was who determined just how capable a mage really was. They were a select group, paid by the various kingdoms to travel the realms, checking to see who was worth spending effort and element on to develop their magical skill. The only way to get promoted through the lower ranks of wizardry was by a tester’s say so. With rank came respect and opportunities for more lucrative work.
“They’re not cheap.” It cost me a few ounces of prime element to bribe my way into a second test. “Anybody herefriends with a tester?” I waited, but of course they weren’t. Testers were rare, high-class specialists. We were us.
“Alas, I’ve never known anyone from that respected order.”
