“My aim is to unearth your desires, in addition to my own, and see where there is true alignment. Not to coerce you.”
“I am not so easily swayed, my lord. And, while I don’t have much experience in thisdynamic…” The word and its connotation was still somewhat abstract to me, though I was comforted by the rules and structure of it all. “I’d prefer to try something first, rather than reject it outright.”
“By agreeing to this, you are consenting to be my sexual submissive,” he said, still peering over the papers to scrutinize me. Did he need to point it out, or was that part of the negotiation, too?
“Yes, I know,” I responded.
“I want you to say it,” he said and the steel in his voice sent a sharp thrill through me.
“I consent to being your sexual submissive.” I tried to hide the tremor in my voice and the sudden tightness in my trousers.
“I agree to be your Dominant and honor your consent. This dynamic doesn’t need to extend into our domestic dealings, and even during a scene, we can step out of it at any time.”
“I understand.”
“We’re going to talk about what we do,extensively,” he emphasized.
My heart rate spiked. Damn him for poking at all the places that were most sensitive. “Is that really necessary?” I asked.
“Yes, we must have regular check-ins about what we like or don’t like. It’s a process that is continually refined and ever-evolving to suit us both. And it is to prevent either of us from feeling overwhelmed.”
“Me, you mean?” Hadn’t I panicked just yesterday?
“I have moments of self-doubt too.”
“Then you hide it better than me.”
“I was worried last night, when I thought you might be leaving.”
I lowered my head in shame because it was a cowardly way to go, without even a word or note of goodbye, not befitting a prince or a man of honor. “It was not my best moment,” I admitted.
“I have some issues with… abandonment,” Vasil said, giving me a rare glimpse of his pain and trauma. He closed his eyes briefly, then continued, “Will you do that again, Cedrych? Sneakoff into the night?” His normally smoldering eyes had gone soft and winsome.
“No, my lord, I won’t. I swear it on my honor.” I placed one hand over my heart.
“Good, because I would be very cross with you. It would hurt me deeply.”
“My sincerest apologies, my lord.”
He nodded and seemed satisfied. “I will also be your Dominant during punishments. And you are due one now, so come over here and select your implement.”
“You’re going to do it here?” I glanced around his study, the place of so many civil conversations and academic debates. All the books on the shelves and those miniature soldiers on the table. The portrait of his mother and father on the wall, silently watching…
Vasil followed my gaze with curiosity. “The walls are thick, and we will not be disturbed, but we can go somewhere else if you’d prefer it,” he said.
Where would we go? Sound carried in his fortress, even in our bedrooms with guards posted right outside the doors.
“Here is fine, as good as any place, I suppose. Could you at least lock the door?”
Vasil made a twisting motion with one hand and from behind me came the thunk of a metal deadbolt engaging. “Now choose,” he said and waved at an urn that I thought was purely decorative, but I now noticed held an array of sturdy switches. I surveyed a few of them, running my hands along their lengths and slapping them lightly against my palm to test their weight and heft.
“All of them will hurt,” Vasil said as if to assure me.
“Are you enjoying this?” I asked him, for the amused smile had not left his face.
“Immensely.”
At least one of us would.
