“This is about control?” I ventured to say.
“Partway, yes. And I’d like to have my hands on you as a way to orient us to the day.”
My balls ached at the promise of his hands on me, but I reined it in. “And is hand-feeding me going to be part of our daily routine as well?”
“On days when you need it, yes.”
He was doing this forme? BecauseIneeded it?
“I thought it was to prove to me that you’re in charge,” I said.
“That too. You came in here unsettled, unsure of your place and the newness surrounding you. I’m reorienting you to my desires. That should give you direction and purpose when you are feeling untethered. You’ve been trained as a soldier, Cedrych, and soldiers need to be given orders, a mission to accomplish.” He began cutting a melon into tiny bites, giving me time to process, to pick apart whether what he said was true.
“And my mission?” I asked.
“For now? It’s to please me.”
“That seems too simple.”
“I’m not an easy man to please.”
I believed him. And a large part of me wanted to please him, to hear his praise, to be invited into his bedchamber… It sounded so easy and yet, my mind was laden with all the ways I might screw up. Hadn’t that been my objective with my own mother, to please her? One that I’d failed at miserably time and again.
“And what is your mission?” I asked.
“My mission is to care for you and see to your every need.”
Everyneed? My balls tingled with anticipation, but I suspected the lord would make me work for it. “What else will be part of our routine?” I asked.
“We’ll figure it out as we go. I may assign you tasks. I’ll also correct you when necessary.”
“This is to help me become a gentleman?” I couldn’t help but have doubts.
“In the short-term it’s to build trust, but in the long-term, yes.”
“Have you done this before?” He seemed altogether too comfortable with this role of… guardian?
“Not like this, but I’ve given a lot of thought to what you might need. Many moons, in fact, since you last visited me here. You may find it tedious or perhaps even a little overwhelming, especially at first, so I want you to have a word for when you’d like to take a break.”
“A word?”
“Yes, any word. One we can both use when we need a moment to pause and collect ourselves.”
“Halt,” I said, for it seemed the most obvious choice to me.
He nodded. “Halt it is. I hope you know, Cedrych, this doesn’t have to be a battle between us.”
“Everything in life’s a battle.”
“Perhaps then, you can imagine us fighting on the same side, at least some of the time?”
“For the betterment of my disposition?” I said with a hint of sarcasm.
He smirked. “Yes, but it’s not so one-sided. I’m getting something out of this too.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
He glanced down at my lap, specifically the bulge in my deerskin breeches which was embarrassingly obvious. He had no right to excite me and then tease me for it. No right at all.
