“I know, I’m a brat, but I do want to know how it was for you,” I said.
“It was good. So good. But only because it was you.”
“You’re safe with me,” I told him because at times, we both needed reminding.
“I know.”
“I’m going to clean us up. Don’t move.”
“Ugh, wet spot,” he said, so I tucked the top sheet that had fallen to the floor underneath him. I wet a rag with water andwiped us both off, tossing the soiled cloth into the sink. Then I scooped up two bowls of dinner and brought it over to him so we could eat in bed.
“This is good. What kind of mushrooms are those?” I asked.
“Chanterelles. And I added a bit of that goat cheese we brought with us.”
“Yeah, creamy,” I remarked, using a crust of bread to wipe up the last bit of sauce.
“There’s more, you know,” he said, smirking at my terrible table manners. Sex made me hungry and sleepy, but one thing at a time.
“Later,” I said, “You finished?”
“Yeah.”
I set our bowls aside, but instead of our usual position of me lying on top of him, I wrapped him up in my arms so that he was the little spoon. I had a million things I wanted to tell him, but I didn’t want to overwhelm him if he still needed time to process.
“I never thought it would feel like that,” he said after a few minutes, when I had just started to doze off.
“Like what?” I asked, kissing each tiny freckle on his shoulder.
“Like coming home.”
I smiled against his skin, thinking how lucky we were to have found each other, to have fought for each other and survived. “I hope it feels like that every time,” I said.
He rolled over and met my gaze with his dark, serious eyes. “You’re my everything, you know.”
I nodded because even though we had our family and our friends on base, I felt the same way about him; we were two parts of the same whole.
“I have something for you,” he said, suddenly sitting up in bed. His hair was adorably messy and there were still flakes of cum on his stomach. “I’ve been holding onto it for a while now,trying to find the right time, the right moment, but I don’t want to wait any longer. I already talked to your brother about it. Macon too, though that was more for advice than permission.”
“Cipher.” I laid a hand on his arm because this sort of rambling commentary was so out of character for him. “Are you okay?”
He shot out of bed and walked toward his duffle bag, reached into what we called the secret pocket and pulled out something small enough to fit in the palm of his hand. I sat up in bed, no longer tired, and watched as he slowly, painstakingly got down on his knee and stared up at me, still naked, eyes shining, maybe even crying a little?
“Cipher, what’s going on? You’re freaking me out.”
“Don’t be freaked out, but give me a minute. I gotta get this out.” He took a deep breath, exhaled, then stared up at me again. “Joshua Perrin-Rogers, Kitten, will you marry me?”
The shock of it all struck me silent, and later I would laugh at myself for thinking he was having some sort of psychotic break, but that concern passed quickly because there was a ring and Cipher’s earnest, almost pained expression to assure me that he was dead serious as he waited for my response.
“Of course I’ll marry you,” I told him, the fool. We’d never talked about marriage before, but it was a given that we’d be together forever, from my perspective at least. I’d never thought he’d be so conventional as towantto get married. I even recalled him referring to marriage as nothing more than a “piece of paper,” but people could certainly change.
Ha! I was going to make a married man out of my anti-establishment, non-conformist boyfriend. No longer my boyfriend, but my sweet, sentimental fiance. Cipher wanted to marry me, to be my husband. It was all too much.
I scooped him off the ground and pulled him into a naked full-body hug, all of my limbs wrapped so tightly around himthat he wouldn’t be able to escape if he tried. He mumbled something about not being able to breathe, so I loosened my grip a little.
“You have to wear the ring,” he said with a bigger smile than I’d ever seen before. I put my hand out for him to slip it onto my finger, a perfect fit.
“Where’d you get it?” I asked, admiring the silver and onyx band. Tiny diamonds glittered in the dim lighting. I wondered how long he’d been holding onto it, trying to work up the courage to ask.
