My whole body started shaking then, despite the relative warmth of the room. Crenshaw stood and went over to a closet, pulled out a scratchy-looking field blanket and draped it over my shoulders. I gripped the edges and pulled it tighter around me.
Crenshaw’s voice was gentler now when she asked, “And how did you get away?”
“Cipher tracked us down by following the Humvee’s path. I was tied to a stake, passed out from an asthma attack. Jeremiah had the rifle and was picking off Rabids. They shot at each other–Jeremiah and Cipher did. Cipher killed him.”
I took a deep breath and exhaled, glanced behind me as if Jeremiah might be lurking there still.Dead as a doornail,Cipher told me and Cipher never lied.
“It’s okay, Joshua. You’re safe here.”
“Am I?” I asked because it seemed like yet another trap.
“You’re under my protection here. If you continue to be honest with me, I can help you and Cipher both.”
I tapped my foot under the table. Cipher would hate this, would hate me telling her our secrets. He’d warn me not to trust her, any of them, but I’d already given his life over to them. What else did I have to lose?
“What happened next?” she asked
“Cipher burned Jeremiah’s body with the other Rabids. We took his weapons and the Humvee and went back to Promised Land. We had to get the rest of our family out of there.”
“Did any of you see Brother Larry on your return?”
I bit my lip, remembering the argument we’d had, how stubborn Cipher had been, wanting justice for my abduction when all I wanted was to get our family to safety.
“Cipher went to confront Brother Larry, and he insisted on going alone.”Like always, I thought with some bitterness. “So I followed him to his house.”
“And what happened there?”
I forced myself to recall that night, though I’d rather not think of it ever again.
“Brother Larry admitted what he’d done and that I wasn’t the first. Cipher didn’t know I was there. I’d climbed in through a window in the bedroom. Brother Larry held a gun to Cipher’shead and was about to shoot him, so I snuck up behind him and stabbed him three times, aiming for his kidneys.”
I must have been a heartless bastard because I felt little remorse for what I’d done. The choice between Cipher’s life or Brother Larry’s was an easy one to make. Larry even deserved it for what he’d done to me and the other victims before me, what he’d intended to do to Cipher. Still, I hadn’twantedto kill him.
Crenshaw sat back from the desk, steepled her fingers in front of her and eyed me steadily. “According to the autopsy, you were accurate in your aim.”
I nodded somberly, feeling zero satisfaction from knowing it. I didn’t tell her Cipher had taught me that move. She probably considered us murderers already.
“And what happened after that?” she asked.
“We left Promised Land, arrived in Greenville a few days later, and started building our compound.” I stared at my hands, turning them over so they were palm-side up, remembering the blood and how it dried on my fingers and got caked under my fingernails. For days they were black with it. Dumb as it was, I felt better for telling the truth. I didn’t want to be a dirty liaranda murderer.
“Cipher didn’t kill Brother Larry, and what he did to Jeremiah… the man deserved it, you said so yourself,” I told her.
“I did,” she nodded.
We stared at each other, neither of us speaking. The suspense of it all was unbearable. The quiet was too loud. “So, what happens now? Are you going to arrest me?” I practically held out my wrists for her to handcuff.
“Are you a threat to our safety? Do you plan on hurting anyone here on base?”
“No, ma’am. Absolutely not.”
“Then there’s no need to take any immediate action. I’m going to need to write this up in a report to my superiors, your account as well as Macon’s.”
“And then I’ll be arrested?” I asked. I didn’t want to be jailed, but it seemed like I deserved some sort of punishment for taking a life.
“Our criminal justice system has changed significantly since the virus took hold. We don’t have the resources to house prisoners, nor the manpower to watch over them. More often criminals are sent to labor camps or executed. That’s if they’re not pardoned.”
“Are they going to execute me?” I asked. I’d rather know up front what she thought my punishment might be.
