“Babe.”
“Yeah?”
“I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
I frowned, not believing it but not wanting to argue with him about it either.
“I’m so glad I met you,” he continued. “You’re the best thing to ever happen to me. You’ve made me so happy.”
“Please don’t talk like you’re dying. My heart can’t take it,” I said.
“I just want to make sure that I say to you all the things that need to be said. You’re so strong. And brave. And you care a lot about other people. Don’t ever let them take that from you, Kitten, ok? You’re just a really wonderful person, my favorite person.”
“You’re my favorite person too. And I have plans for us to grow old together, to watch the trees we’ve planted bear fruit, to perfect my sourdough recipe, and adopt way more fussy stray cats that you pretend to dislike but secretly love. Please don’t give up on us yet, Cipher. We still have a future together.”
He sighed and shook his head sadly. “I feel it already, sweetness. The sunlight…” He squinted toward the window, where I’d already closed the curtains. “My body is changing. I’m changing.”
“You don’t know that for sure. There are new variants all the time. Maybe this will be a mild one.”
“It would kill me to hurt one of you, especially after I’ve spent all this time protecting you.”
“We won’t let that happen, I promise.”
He sighed in defeat and we lapsed into silence. Cipher stared at his hands. I worried what he was thinking, or rather, plotting. I needed him to stay positive, to believe that he could be healed.
“Listen, I have a stock of extra bullets for the rifles in a bucket in the toolshed out back, and the gate hinges need to be oiled every couple of weeks or they’ll start to stick. The engine on the Humvee should be turned over at least twice a week sothe battery doesn’t go dead, but even if it does there are jumper cables–”
“Stop. Just stop,” I interrupted. “There isnothingyou need to worry about right now. All you have to do is rest and be a good patient. I’m going to take care of you. We’re all going to take care of you. I know it’s hard for you to give up control, but you just have to trust me, okay? Can you do that?”
He nodded, his mouth a terse line. “Yeah, I can do that.”
“I’m going to be with you the entire time. I’ll never leave you, Cipher.Never.”
His lower lip wobbled and he started to cry, slow silent tears dripping down his cheeks. I’d only ever seen him cry once before, when he first told me about his sister Aiko. He fell apart the same way he did everything else: with quiet, private strength. Gently, so as not to hurt him, I grabbed his hand and held it.
“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” I told him.
He nodded, his beautiful brown eyes swallowed up in sadness. “I know.”
NINE
CIPHER
I awoke disorientedwith an insatiable something gnawing at my insides, an ache that started in my stomach and went straight through to my bones. Something I craved–needed–but what was it?
A thrumming noise filled my ears, the steady beating of a heart. My own? No, it belonged to the boy in the chair. I knew him. His name was… It was…
I couldn’t remember his name.
The boy was asleep, the curls on his head a chaotic mess, the features of his face blurred like looking through a wet pane of glass, but my other senses were sharper than ever before. The noise was the sound of blood pumping through his veins. Mouth watering, I sniffed the air, tasting his exhales, smelling the sweat on his skin, imagining the tang of his blood. So warm and inviting, he smelled like…
Meat.
Humanmeat.
No, that couldn’t be right. I couldn’teathim. I didn’t eatpeople.
But the need grew stronger, a craving like no other. Thirst mixed with hunger mixed with…want.I tried to claw at my burning throat, but I couldn’t. My wrists were strapped down.
