“I didn’t steal them,” he said, looking guilty.
“Then who gave them to you?”
He blinked, looking torn, before his face hardened into a stubborn frown. “There are just some things I can’t tell you, Kitten, so don’t bother asking.”
“That’s not good enough,” I grumbled, while thinking that if it wasmekeeping secrets fromhim, he’d throw a freaking fit.
“Maybe not, but that’s just how it is.” He studied me closely to see if I’d accept his shoddy reason, and it seemed that I would… for now.
“Are you coming to dinner?” I asked, changing the subject.
“No, I’ll eat later on.”
“Is it so I won’t ask you any more questions?” It sure felt like he was avoiding me.
He hesitated before saying, “No, that’s not it.”
He hadn’t convinced me, not in the least. “Will I see you tomorrow?” I asked, because lately by the time he got back in the morning, I’d already left for work.
“Of course, you will. Now, come here and give me a hug.” He drew me into his arms and I softened a little to his warm embrace.
“I miss you,” I said, suddenly shaking with the force of my emotion.
“I miss you too,” he echoed while petting my hair. And then, with a kiss to my forehead and a sad smile, he left.
The next morning as I was leaving for work and he was just getting home, I made the mistake of asking him how his night went.
“Not great,” he said.
“What happened?”
“Nothing happened. Nothing at all.”
It seemed to me that nothing was better than something, but Cipher and I didn’t operate in the same way. I didn’t get off on the thrill of danger. I was cautious. I liked routine and knowing what was going to happen next. Maybe he thought I was boring.
“If you don’t like it, can’t you quit?” I asked.
“No, I can’t just quit. It’s what I have to do. You don’t have to like it.”
He was right that I didn’t like it, but I hadn’t been trying to start a fight. Still, the anger in his voice sparked my own.
“Someone should free the goat. Give it a fighting chance,” I said.
“Stay in your lane, Kitten. Not all of us have the luxury of a clean conscience.”
A clean conscience? Is that what he thought? He made it sound like an insult.
“What isthatsupposed to mean?” I demanded, temper flaring.
“It means…” He sighed and shook his head. “It means I’m too fucking exhausted to fight with you right now.”
Blinking back tears, I dropped the argument, but just thinking about the bad feelings between us, even hours later, made me want to cry.
* * *
“I thinkthere’s something wrong with Cipher,” I said to Artemis later that afternoon. I’d stopped by the schoolyard on my way home to talk to her about it, since I didn’t want Cipher to know I was consulting one of the other Assholes about his strangely moody behavior. And out of all of us, he listened to Artemis the most.
“Yeah, something’s off with him,” she agreed. “I asked him a question while we were waiting in line for breakfast yesterday, and he stared right through me like he hadn’t even heard me. I know he’s been a little out of it lately, but this was something else.”
