“No. I want to see what it feels like, even if it’s messy. If you come first, will you blow me?”
“Of course. You don’t think I’d leave you hanging, do you? That’s not good boyfriend behavior. And besides, I’m going to do everything I can to make it last.”
“Got any advice?” I asked.
“Imagine Rabids gnawing on your balls?”
“Ugh, that’s terrible.” I didn’t want to bring even the thought of Rabids into our bedroom.
“Listen, I want to make it good for you, but I need you to tell me if I’m being too eager. If you want me to stop or slow down or change positions, whatever it is. Don’t go silent on me, okay?” He kissed the tip of my nose sweetly.
“Okay.”
His two fingers were now positioned at my entrance, sweeping around the rim and leaving a slick trail behind. I was a little open already as one of his fingers slipped inside. My hole throbbed and my guts churned. I wanted him so bad that I was a little embarrassed by my own cravings. “Do you think I’m weak for wanting to bottom?” I asked, gripped by a sudden twinge of doubt. It was silly, but I didn’t want him to think less of me for it.
“No, if anything it makes you stronger. Definitely braver.” He licked one of my nipples and sucked on the tip, drawing it out like a bud.
“This one too,” I said and pointed to the other, so he tormented it the same, then came for my mouth, sweeping along my lips with his tongue before pushing inside. Just as a lusting moan escaped me, he sunk both fingers into my tight channel. I arched back and spread my legs wider, trying to lessen the burn and open myself up to him. His lips traveled to my jaw, my neck, then lower, along my navel until he reached my cock where he gently sucked until I was hard again. My breath was more like a pant, and he took his time, fingers moving achingly slow. I groaned as the hum of arousal grew louder, until it was throbbing in my blood and in my veins.
“That’s the spot,” I said when he rubbed me just right. “Not too much or I’ll come.”
“Just wanted to make sure I could still find it,” he said as his fingers twisted inside me. I tensed up suddenly, not knowing what else to do, and his motions stilled. “Does it hurt?”
“No, it’s just hard to relax.”
“Let’s try something else.” He sat back and reached for the jar again. The absence of him made me falter–I hated that empty feeling–but soon enough he was back, pressing inside me with both his thumbs.
“Look at me,” Cipher said and I stared, transfixed by his dark gaze. I’d seen all the colors of his eyes, just as I’d witnessed the many facets of his heart. He hadn’t let me down yet.
“I’m okay,” I said.
“Good because you can trust me.”
My gaze dropped down from his face to his dick, bigger than mine and thick enough to worry me. Beads of fluid dripped from the slit like an overfull honeycomb. It was a little intimidating.
“I want you so bad, baby, but you gotta ease up,” he said.
“I’m trying.”
“I know. You’re doing great, and this is really turning me on. Your hole is so pretty.”
“You like it?” I asked, because buttholes were generally not known for their beauty.
“Yeah, it’s the same color as your nipples and I want….” He stretched his neck and swallowed, the knob of his throat jogging in the long line of his neck. “I want to be inside you.”
“You want to pop my cherry?” I asked, an expression I’d learned from Macon.
“Yeah, I definitely do.”
I tried to melt onto the mattress and resist the urge to tense up whenever he pushed inside. I imagined myself as something soft and malleable, sculptor’s clay. My body ached, but it felt good too. How was that possible?
“Do you think I’m stretched enough?” The anticipation was becoming unbearable.
“I think so.” He pulled away, and the emptiness was back as he coated his erection with lube. Shiny all over, he looked even bigger than before. I swallowed and hoped what Marion had said about the anus being highly elastic was true.
“You ready?” he asked, probably sensing my hesitation from the way I was gripping the bed sheets.
“Yes?”
