I repeated it, one syllable at a time, then we both started singing the word in a sort of cannon, which was when Artemis and Teresa returned from their salon appointment, looking fab-u-lous. I told them straight away. Artemis’s hair was loose and fuller than I’d ever seen it before, so lush and beautiful, “Your afro is a work of art,” I exclaimed. Teresa’s blond hair was layered so that it framed her face, and she had bangs too. How exciting!
“We should have a makeover,” I said to the boys because everyone deserves a bit of pampering. Then a shadow fell over me and I glanced up to see my very handsome boyfriend staring down at me with a grave expression. So serious. Sosexy.His head was cocked like a curious bird, hair as black as crow feathers. I imagined him with bangs or a messy swoop to his short hair. He would totally nail it.
“Hello, boyfriend. You’re looking very tall today.” Smiling up at him, I reached out with both hands to grab him, but he was still too far away.
“Why are you lying on the floor, Kitten?”
“It’s nice down here.” I patted the space beside me. “Care to join me? Deciduous is Macon’s favorite word. Isn’t it great? I think my favorite word is dis-com-bob-u-late.” I said it very slowly, making sure to get it right. I felt a bit discombobulated at the moment, like my arms and legs were floating just out of reach. Macon was laughing and Gizmo was mumbling about antimatter. Cipher was suddenly much closer, and his eyes were so huge that I could see all the different shades of brown in his irises–caramel and gingerbread and maple syrup too–and so many shapes, an explosion of color and light racing outward from his pupil.
“Big Bang,” I told him.
“What about it?” he said.
“I can see the birth of the universe in your eyes.” I remembered something Gizmo once told me. “Everything must be born. Everything must die. Even us. But hopefully not for a very long time, right?” I didn’t want to dwell on death, especially not right now when I was feeling so good about life.
“Are you high?” he asked, the words coming out so slowly that it felt like an eternity had passed between the start and end of his question. Could he read my mind? Instead of answering, I rolled onto my stomach and inched my way across the carpet to where Macon was now giggling uncontrollably. When he got going, it was impossible for him to stop.
“Macon, do I look high to you?”
I opened my eyes wide so he could see the inner workings of my brain. He nodded, still tittering, while Gizmo spoke about the perfection of pie, something I agreed with wholeheartedly.
“I love pie too,” I said dreamily and rubbed my stomach, sadly empty of pie. “Blueberry, apple, peach, pumpkin… Do you think there will be pie at dinner?”
“Not that kind of pie,” Gizmo said. “Pi as in the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter.”
I nodded along. “Pie is a circle you cut it into slices. Pie is sweet, pie is delicious…”
I sang a little song about my love for pie as Cipher strutted across the room in slow motion like an action hero is about to kick some major A-S-S. Suddenly, he was right beside me, enveloping me in his manly mist. He smelled so good. I could taste the sharpness on my tongue, stirring my senses and awakening my little monster as I opened my mouth to inhale him. I felt like snapping at the air. Inappropriate! Still, I had to know what he tasted like, so I grabbed hold of his arm and licked a long stripe along the inside of it. Salty like jerky but sweet too–like nibbling on a fresh green stem. “Yum, Cipher pie. Better than chicken pot pie.” Of course, I had to sing a song about that too.
“Macon, what did you give him?” Cipher said in his deep dad voice. Shivers. My one-eyed monster perked up even more. Maybe Cipher would call me a good boy again, though truthfully, I wanted to be bad just as much. Cipher’s eyes widened and his nostrils flared. “Joshua,” he hissed. Whoops, must have said that part out loud.
“Am I in trouble now, dad?” I asked, hoping I might be.
Artemis tucked a thermometer under my armpit and someone placed a glass of water into my hand. I tried drinking it, but it came at me too fast, all of it gushing towards my face, so some spilled onto the floor. Then the glass was gone. Cipher must have taken it away.
“Shrooms,” Macon suddenly shouted, responding to the question that was asked hours ago or maybe it was only minutes. Hard to tell.
“Where’d you get shrooms?” Cipher asked.
“I found them in the cow patties.”
“Psilocybin mushrooms, to be exact,” Gizmo said.
“Silly Simon mushrooms,” I repeated, feeling pretty silly myself.
“How many did you take?” Cipher asked me. I shrugged because I couldn’t remember, then kept doing it because it felt funny. Shoulders up, shoulders down, shoulders up, shoulders down…
“Jesus Christ,” Cipher grumbled.
“Hey, dad, it’s gonna be ooooooohkaaaaaay.” I made the sign with my fingers and put it to my eye, looking through the circle to see his scowl deepen into a full-on frown. I touched his jaw with my finger. “You’re so handsome. Even when you make that face.”
“They don’t have it,” Teresa said, suddenly kneeling in front of me. Where had she come from? “We checked the bookstoreandthe school library. They don’t have it.”
“Breaking Dawn?” I asked, the words sounding very far away. “That’s tragic. We might never find it. Maybe we should write it ourselves. Bella and Edward get married. Isn’t that romantic? The ceremony would have to be indoors… or at night.” I imagined the two of them under fairy lights, like that dinner where Cipher told me to order whatever I wanted, even dessert, which was possibly the hottest thing he could have said to me. “Does that mean they’ll finally have sex? That’s a rule some people have, no sex before marriage. Some vampires too, apparently. I’m not waiting though.” I grabbed Cipher’s hand and kissed it. His eyes were so wide. “Don’t be scared,” I said to him.
“About time he man up,” Macon grumbled. “Edward’s been playing games for three books now.”
“He didn’t want to hurt her,” I insisted. “She’s only human, after all.”
