“Cipher.” He turned his attention to me. “What is sixty-nine?”
I swallowed. Frozen with embarrassment and too tongue-tied to reply, Gizmo took up the mantle of Kitten’s sexual education. “Sixty-nine is a sex term for when each partner stimulates the other’s genitals orally and simultaneously, so called because their bodies make the shape of a six and a nine.”
“Oh my gosh,” Kitten exclaimed, hands clamping over his mouth. “I had no idea. Cipher, you should have told me.” The tips of his ears turned pink and his eyes were wide as pie. Macon’s guffaws had turned into titters that bubbled up uncontrollably, and even Artemis was pursing her lips tightly to keep a straight face.
Seeing no way to rescue the situation outside of our immediate escape, I stood and grabbed Kitten’s empty tray along with my own. “You want to get out of here? I need a cigarette.”
“Yeah, let me just refill my lemonade.” Eyes downcast, he grabbed his empty glass and headed over to the refreshment table.
Once he was out of earshot, I hissed at the rest of them, “I am doing my best here and I need you all to help me out.” I pointed at Macon in particular. “Don’t laugh at him about stuff he doesn’t know. It’s not his fault he doesn’t have our life experience or crass vocabularies. I don’t think he’s even been on the Internet for fuck’s sake.”
Macon nodded, suddenly sober, and wiped the tears from his eyes, “I know, I know. I’m sorry. He’s just too much sometimes. I’ll do better next time, I swear.”
Next time? Christ, there probably would be a next time. With one more huff of displeasure and a scathing look, I went to collect my sweet but clueless boyfriend.
* * *
“I don’t knowanything about sex, and everyone was laughing at me. I’m so behind on all this stuff and I’m tired of looking stupid in front of everyone else.”
We were in our bedroom, and I was removing my weapons. It had taken the entire walk home for Kitten to move past his stony silence and open up to me. Now, he was sitting on the edge of our bed with his cat in his arms, stroking her somewhat compulsively.
“I think they were laughing more at the situation than at you,” I said, trying to make him feel better. “And you’re not behind because there are no deadlines for these sorts of things.”
“But I am the sheltered plague kid learning what it means to sixty-nine for the first time,” he huffed.
I didn’t know what to say to that. Hadn’t I called him the same thing before? “I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”
“I’ll always be a plague kid, won’t I?” he asked forlornly. Shining amber eyes stared up at me, looking for my reassurance, so I sat down next to him and pulled him toward me, mindful not to displease her majesty, the cat.
“Plague kid or not, you’re sweet and caring and you don’t have all the hang-ups that most of us have to deal with on a daily basis,” I said. His spiky black eyelashes blinked slowly. It was so easy to get lost in those eyes, to forget about anything but kissing those sweet candy lips.
“Like what?” he asked sincerely.
“Well, I’m jaded and paranoid, and I always assume the worst in people. I’m terrible at making friends and I’m not well-liked.”
“I like you.”
“You like everyone.”
“I especially like you,” he said and brushed his nose along my collarbone. “And you don’t assume the worst in me.”
“Not anymore. Because you’re good. You’re just… a wonderful person. I like that your mother had all those cutesy sayings around your house. Even with the world crumbling all around us, you had people who loved you and cared about you, and it shows in the way you treat others. You have so much to give and some days, I feel like I have nothing left to give and no hope for the future, and then I see your face and your beautiful smile, and I’m hopeful again.”
He gazed up at me, smiling cautiously at first and then all at once, teeth showing, dimples flashing, proving what I just said was true. My heart lifted and I could breathe again.
“That’s very nice of you to say,” he said and buried his face in Little Miss Purrfect’s fur coat.
“I’m sorry you were embarrassed at dinner. I was too, if that makes it any better. I’ll try to be more careful next time about throwing around sex slang.”
“I want to learn, but I don’t want to always have to rely on you to tell me what’s going on or explain every little thing to me. And I really don’t want you to think I’m stupid.”
“I don’t think that,” I assured him.
He gave me a look that said he didn’t believe me.
“I don’t think you’re stupid. I think there are gaps in your knowledge. But I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel that way.”
“It’s okay.” He let his squirming cat jump to the ground, and she darted toward the open door. I walked over and shut it all the way, turning the lock Gizmo had installed. The sound of a metal bolt engaging was soothing to my soul. I dragged Kitten to his feet so I could give him a nice, hearty squeeze and grab his butt for good measure, two perfect handfuls. Locking my arms around him, we swayed like that for a little while. I breathed deeply and exhaled slowly. Night had fallen and the only light in the room was cast by the moon. This was my happiness, my solace, Kitten, right here in my arms.
