Emile’s mother is dead and besides that, Bayani was never introduced to Emile’s family. Bayani was Emile’s “dirty little secret.” Those were Emile’s own words to him when Bayani was once foolish enough to ask.
Now that he’s away from Emile, Bayani finds himself reviewing everything he might have done wrong and anything he could have done differently to avoid the man’s attention or repel him. Bayani has a hard time believing it was simply bad luck, and he’s not sure why he feels the need to take responsibility for the horrible things that happened to him, maybe because if he had no power to avoid it, then he has no power to stop it from happening again.
Unlike Emile, John never raises his voice at Bayani and he never seems frustrated, despite the many things Bayani cannot do for himself. When John touches him, it is always with his permission, and his hands are gentle and never bruising.
But Emile was gentle too, in the beginning.
Bayani still isn’t sure how he ended up in John’s home, especially when he realizes they’re in Gulfport, which is a good 30-minute drive from Biloxi where he lived with his cousin before Emile’s lackeys took him from his home and locked him in one of Emile’s rooms at Le Grand to be used as his sexual plaything. John clearly knows who did this to him, but he told Bayani that Emile doesn’t know he’s alive, which means John is keeping it a secret. To protect him?
One of these days Bayani might work up the nerve to ask.
The doctor returns a few days later to see how Bayani is healing. He introduces himself as Thomas, a friend of John’s, and Bayani now has the wherewithal to retain it. Thomas removes the stitches in his face and throat, saying they’ve healed nicely, and tells him the ones in his rectum will dissolve on their own in a couple of weeks. That’s a relief. Thomas also gives him a brace to wear around his knee and crutches so that he may hobble around the apartment unassisted. Bayani is glad for the independence, though he may miss having John carry him everywhere.
Thomas asks Bayani if has any questions. Bayani types out on his tablet, “How did I end up here?”
Thomas looks to John to answer, and John says somberly, “They dropped you off in the alleyway behind the shop.”
They?Does that mean Emile and his men? Bayani tries to remember but cannot. The next question he formulates in his mind but doesn’t ask, not in front of Thomas. Just typing out Emile’s name feels like too much of a risk. Instead, he asks, “Will I ever be able to speak again?”
Another grave look is exchanged between the men, and Thomas says, “You’d need to go to a speech therapist to make that determination, but based on the severity of the injury, it’s unlikely.”
Bayani blinks and nods and swallows around the sudden lump in his throat. That means he’ll never be able to sing his favorite songs or tell his grandmother he loves her or call one of his friends back home on the telephone. He knows he should be grateful that he’s even alive, but his prognosis is pretty grim.
And he’s still in danger.
John takes hold of his hand and squeezes. Bayani should call his grandmother at least, to let her know he’s all right, but what if word got back to his cousin Manuel, who works for Emile? Manny was the one who convinced him to come out here in the first place with the promise of a good-paying job, then introduced him to Emile, even while knowing the man had a mean streak. Bayani wonders if his cousin got some sort of reward for setting them up. The betrayal cuts deep. He can’t even trust his own family.
His grandmother will be devastated by the news, but it’s probably best if everyone believes that he’s dead.
“Call me if he starts to run a fever,” Thomas says to John, now wrapping things up. “It was nice meeting you, Bayani. I’ll be back in a week or so to replace your cast. Take care.”
Bayani nods and the doctor leaves. John walks him out. When he returns, Bayani stares at him with what he imagines is a hopeless expression, and John says, “How about we play some cards?”
* * *
John is downstairs manningthe shop but before leaving, he told Bayani that he was welcome to explore the apartment in his absence and to holler if he needs him. Still, it feels a little bit like snooping, especially with Bayani opening up cabinets and drawers to see what’s inside and running his hands over John’s belongings.
John’s apartment is small but tidy with very few knickknacks or things of sentimental value, and yet there are clearly feminine touches here and there, like the curtains in the bedroom window and the thick quilt Bayani sleeps under every night.
John’s few personal items are functional, and the only art on the walls is a framed photograph of what Bayani assumes is the butcher shop, taken several years ago. The man standing out front looks like John, though not as big or as broad. His father perhaps?
Bayani quickly realizes he’s been sleeping in John’s own bed and that John has taken up residence on the couch for the past two weeks. The sheet and blanket folded neatly on the coffee table is evidence, as is the second bedroom, which has been converted into a home gym. The scent of the room is slightly tangy, a mixture of a lemony cleaner and sweat.John’ssweat.
Bayani sits on the weight bench for a spell, one, because he’s tired and two, because he likes imagining John working out in here, curling one of those impossibly heavy dumbbells or batting at the punching bag that hangs in one corner of the room like a ripe pear. He pictures John with his shirt off, droplets of sweat clinging to his heat-flushed skin and the hair on his chest, his serious eyes laser-focused on his opponent. A flutter of sexual arousal stirs in his groin.
Bayani has never seen John shirtless, but his imagination fills in the gaps. Rather than feel threatened or intimidated by John’s carefully honed physique, he is reassured. John is a trained soldier—a fighter—and he’s strong. He might be able to defend himself if he had to. Bayani never intended to bring trouble to John’s doorstep, but he fears that he has.
Bayani’s small stature is probably one of the reasons why Emile targeted him. Emile wanted someone he could easily overpower, someone he could control. It helped that Bayani was new to the country and didn’t have any friends or family here who would protect him. Not Manny, who practically served him up on a silver platter to his boss. There was no way to win against Emile, Bayani realizes. The deck was stacked against him from the start. Still, he should have gotten out sooner and been smarter about leaving.
Now he has John. That is something, at least.
For dinner that night, Bayani suggests they eat together at the kitchen table instead of in the bedroom, and John agrees. John serves him up a plate of seasoned pot roast that’s so tender, it falls apart under his fork, along with a side of slow-cooked carrots and potatoes. The food is just as delicious as the smell, which has been tantalizing Bayani all day while stewing in the slow cooker. His stub of a tongue is mostly healed, but Bayani’s still learning how to eat with it like this. Soft foods help, something John kindly considers when preparing their meals.
Bayani has learned how to make the tablet speak his typed messages, and when they are mostly finished with dinner, he says to John, “That was delicious. Thank you.”
Bayani experimented with the voice options on the tablet, but he winces at the clipped, robotic sound of the AI.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” John says graciously and wipes his mouth.
