My stomach was growling, but I was on a hunger strike.
The tent flap opened and the source of my irritation entered. “I brought you dinner,” Cipher said, carrying a sandwich on a plate, along with a bowl of soup.
“I’m not hungry.”
I made the yarn mouse at the end of the string jump. Little Miss Purrfect quit the game and rubbed herself along Cipher’s ankles, probably hoping for a reward, which he gave her in the form of a strip of meat. My stomach growled again.
“Are you sure you’re not hungry? There’s bacon.”
I glared up at him, swallowing the saliva as it flooded my mouth. I hadn’t had bacon in a really long time. There had been a shortage of bacon for years, and even in Atlanta, it was impossible to find. Cipher knew it was my weakness.
“Should I eat it?” Cipher asked, holding up a perfectly crisped strip. The first time he’d tried to tempt me with food was right after he’d taken care of my mother–out of mercy, I reminded myself. I’d sworn back then I’d never eat again or get out of bed or smile, but I’d done all of those things, so maybe I was just full of crap.
“I’m mad at you,” I said and stared at my socked feet. There was a hole in one where my big toe poked through and I wiggled it. If this was our last night together, I didn’t want to spend it in a fight, but I didn’t want to make up with him either.
“I know.” Dropping down next to me, he set the plate in between us and shooed the ravenous Little Miss Purrfect away. “Maybe you’d be less mad at me if you ate something?”
“You can’t fix everything with food.”
“I can fixsomethings with food.”
I took a piece of bacon from the plate. It was salty and delicious and I felt a little bad eating it, as I did whenever I ate meat, because I also loved the animals who’d been slaughtered for our meal, like that little calf in the pasture who was being raised to one day be our food. My dad used to say a prayer every evening before dinner, thanking the animal for its sacrifice, but they really had no say in it at all.
“You know the woman I’m going to look for is a midwife,” Cipher said.
“I know. You told me.”
“If I don’t find her, who’s going to deliver all those babies?” he asked. I stared up at him as he continued. “We’re going to be part of a community, Kitten, and in a community, everyone makes sacrifices for the benefit of the whole, some bigger than others.”
“But you’re mine,” I argued, “and you shouldn’t have to sacrifice your life.”
“You must not have much faith in me,” he said.
“It’s not that and you know it.”
“This won’t be much different from when we travel in the woods and I scout ahead for the group.”
“Macon said there are Rabids out there and that her escort was ‘torn all to bits.’” I made air quotes around his exact wording.
Cipher shook his head and grunted. “Macon’s got a big-ass mouth. But let’s just say that I find this woman, and I’m able to bring her back. Then all of us can have a place to live, and those babies have a better chance of surviving, their mothers will too. That’s a lot of lives saved.”
There was no sense in pretending I wasn’t going to eat, so I picked up the BLT sandwich and savored the taste of homemade bread toasted to perfection and slathered in mayonnaise. The tomato was ripe and juicy, the lettuce was crisp, and there was a bowl of tomato soup too, which was excellent for dipping. I polished off the meal as I thought about Cipher’s reasoning.
“How would you feel if it were me going into the woods alone?” I asked.
“I wouldn’t like it.”
“Exactly.”
“But tracking people isn’t your expertise.”
“Because I’m hard of hearing?”
“Because you’re loud as hell and you have a terrible sense of direction.” He had a point, but I scowled at him regardless. “But I would trust you to do a lot of other things, like plant a garden or take care of a wounded animal. Remember what I said about each of us playing to our strengths.”
“Yes,” I said with some reluctance.
“If I were a soldier who had to go on a tour of duty, would you still be mad at me?”
