“I will share it with you when I receive it. Are you looking forward to talking to her again?”
“No, not at all. But I know it’s important.”
I take his hand and give it a squeeze. “I’m very proud of you for taking this step. I know it’s scary.”
He gazes down at our hands intertwined, and I notice, as I often do, the difference in our ages—his smooth and unblemished fingers cradled by my own weathered palm. Is it a crime to want him like I do? Christ, I might be getting sentimental.
“Have you ever been in therapy?” he asks.
“A few times over the years, whenever the stress of my work becomes too great. After Dimitri left me, Simeon practically dragged me in to see a therapist. It’s never easy to interrogate yourself in that way or to face the things you’d rather not.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be fixed,” he says fatally.
“There is no ‘fixed,’ Giovanni. We’re all flawed in one way or another, but I’m hopeful that your mental health will improve. That you’ll feel safe.”
“I’m safe with you,” he says, and I nod in affirmation.
“You are absolutely safe with me, but I want you to feel safe out there too.”
His eyes drift past my men to the walls that surround us, as if seeing through to the world outside. There is no true safety in life, not really, but that’s one of the lies I’m willing to tell him.
“I was glad when she overdosed.” Giovanni stares at me intently, almost as if thanking me for my involvement in her demise. If he is, it’s only a suspicion. Matthew Sr. would never have told him. “And I was glad when the boyfriend was murdered.”
“They got what was coming to them.”
“Even with the voices and nightmares and… the other stuff, I can rest easier knowing they’re not out there, that they can’t hurt me anymore. So, thank you.”
I bow my head as I would have to his grandfather. “Prego,Giovanni.”
It’s times like these I wonder who is serving whom.
“I’m ready for my spanking,”Giovanni trills, practically prancing across the carpeted floor of my bedroom like a woodland imp, already nude.
“Who said you could get naked?”
He stalls with a pout. “You always tell me to get naked, so I saved you the trouble.”
“Yes, Itellyou. And Iwatchyou. Go put your clothes on and come back out here.”
“Are you serious?”
My eyebrows lift dramatically “Scusami, giovanotto?”
He checks his attitude. “Are you serious, Sir?”
“Abso-fucking-lutely.”
He scowls and goes back into the bathroom to redress. I congratulate myself on sticking to my guns. Simeon wasn’t wrong about him having the potential to take over the household.
When he comes back out, I inspect his work carefully. “Your button’s undone.”
“This is how I wore it to the Met.”
“No, only two buttons were undone. Right now, there are three.”
He smirks and refastens the button. “Sir, you were paying attention.”
“Yes, I was.” I look him over once more. Stunning. “Take off your clothes. Everything but your underwear.”
