“Not good, Jay. Not good at all.”
“You mad about what that asshole said?”
“Yes, and I’m also mad at Roman for interfering when I had everything under control.”
“I told Roman you had it handled.”
“You did?” Ezra was surprised to have Jay’s confidence in him. Jay was Roman’s best friend, after all.
“Yeah, you were just about to go off on that man, weren’t you?”
Ezra was about to give him the business. “Yes, I was about to go off on him.”
“And Roman stole your thunder.”
“Roman was choking that man.”
“Ah.” Jay shook his head. “I don’t know about all that. He definitely had a hold on him, but I don’t think there was any choking going on.”
Ezra couldn’t be sure. The man had certainly looked surprised and a bit scared too, but he supposed his breathing hadn’t been impaired all that much. “Well, he can’t do that every time someone calls me a bad name. I get called retarded all the time.”
“You do? That’s not cool.”
“No, it isn’t, but some people are ignorant. And rude.”
“You’re right about that. Are you really mad at Roman though?”
“I’m pretty mad.” Though the anger was fading just a little.
“Okay, but what if you were out somewhere and someone called him the n-word? How would that make you feel?”
Ezra’s eyes went wide. The n-word was possibly the most offensive word he knew. “I’d be angry.”
“Angry enough to hit someone? Or maybe just give them a little shove?”
Ezra didn’t have to think about that too long. “Yes, I would want to hit them for that, but I know better than to start fights with people who are bigger than me, so I would have to give them the business instead.”
“Yeah, well, Roman’s about as big as they come, and he’ll start a fight and end it if someone he loves is being messed with. That’s his version of giving someone the business.”
Ezra had to admit there was a small part of him that appreciated Roman coming to his rescue, even though he was perfectly fine on his own. “You make some good points, Jay.”
“I know, right? So, I’m going to give Roman a call and tell him you’re home safe.” Jay pulled out his phone and said into it, “Yeah, man, he’s here… yeah, yeah everything’s cool… alright then… see you soon.”
“Jay?” Ezra said, the thought just now occurring to him. “Where’s your yoga instructor? I thought you were going to bring him with you to the party.”
“Didn’t I tell you? He went on a yoga retreat in India. He’s holed up in some mosquito-netted, outdoorsy-type place with no toilet, no meat, and no internet for, like, six weeks working on his asana poses or some shit.”
“You miss him?”
“Yeah, a little bit. But he said he was taking my crystal dong with him, so at least I know he’ll be thinking about me.”
“Jay, you’re too funny,” Ezra said, laughing.
“Don’t I know it.” Jay glanced out toward the living room, then back at Ezra. “All right, Roman’s here. I’m going to clear out the bums and you two talk it out, okay?”
“Yes, okay. Thank you for listening and offering your sound advice.”
“You got it, Ezra. I just want to see my two besties happy.”
