“That was the first time I’ve seen him use it, but he seems to be able to summon the things you wish to keep hidden… your secrets or your fears, your desires. There was some sort of falling out amongst his friends, a betrayal was brought to light. I’ve suspected Vincent aided in that effort.”
It was natural you’d want to practice your powers, but I hadn’t expected to be on the receiving end of it. And I mistakenly thought I’d be strong enough to resist.
“Henri,” Xavier said, and I reluctantly met his gaze. “He’s been asking about Orlando.”
I nodded, accepting full responsibility. I’d opened a door by mentioning the name to you. You hated secrets as much as I hated keeping things from you, but how could I possibly explain?
“He’s not ready,” I said. Your temperament was mercurial, and your body was going through a lot of changes. You were in the midst of realizing your potential and your powers. I didn’t want to shatter your sense of stability. Or burden you with my sins.
“Or you’re not ready,” Xavier said gently.
I cleared my throat, trying again to recall the words exchanged between us. You’d asked about Orlando, how he—you—had died. But you hadn’t seemed upset by my answers, which meant I’d effectively evaded your questions. And then you’d asked me to kiss you. I almost did.
“I believe he’s developed romantic feelings for me,” I admitted. My feelings toward you were complicated but mostly irrelevant, for I would do what was best for you. A long enduring friendship seemed safest. Passion involved too many risks. In the past, our love had bordered on obsession, causing us both to behave recklessly. I would not lose you again.
“Yes, I think he has,” Xavier said in a musing fashion.
“Why aren’t you more upset by that? And at me?”
“It seems somewhat inevitable, doesn’t it?”
I shook my head vehemently. “No, it doesn’t. Not at all. There will be many opportunities for him to bond with other souls.”
Xavier nodded and seemed to be biting his tongue.
“What is it?” I appreciated that Xavier valued discretion and treaded lightly on delicate matters, but I needed him to be direct with me now. I was floundering in my own confusion.
“Vincent is my son, and I love him more than anything, but he’s getting to an age where I feel unable to guide him. He needs you to show him how to navigate this world, how to control his impulses. To teach him between right and wrong. I’ve done my best, but your kind have different rules and boundaries. I can only do so much.”
“He has plans to go to college, Xavier, and after that he may want a career…”
You’d lived a charmed life with parents who loved you, a good education, and friends whose companionship you enjoyed. I didn’twantyou to know more about our kind or what we must do to survive. I wanted to protect you from the dark temptations that lurked around every corner. If that meant denying your powers and your cravings, it seemed a worthy sacrifice.
“We’ve created this beautiful life for him,” I said, appealing to Xavier’s sensibilities as a parent. “Why would you want him to leave that behind?”
“He’s changing, Henri. He’s outgrowing his container.”
“Just a few more years.” I wasn’t ready for this bubble to burst just yet. “Let him have this life as long as possible.”
Xavier sighed but nodded in acquiescence. “At the very least, you should talk with him about not using his seduction for self-serving reasons. I think we can both agree what he did to you was wrong.”
It was why I didn’t seduce you unless absolutely necessary, though the temptation was always there. If we were enthralling each other at every turn, it would be impossible to maintain trust between us.
But a discussion on boundaries was a short-term fix. There was a much larger problem weighing on my mind.
How would I ever be able to give you the life you deserved?
WE SATacross from each other at an outdoor café. Your t-shirt said,Ask me about my blood pressure.One of your cheeky thrift-store finds. Had you purchased it to upset your father or was it to amuse me? Perhaps it was only your absurdist sense of humor. I wanted to take the bait and ask you about your blood pressure, but unfortunately, this wasn’t going to be a lighthearted conversation
“We need to talk about what happened.”
I’d ordered you custom-made contact lenses that offered UV protection so you wouldn’t have to wear sunglasses all the time. Your stare was unflinching, and I found myself drawn to your gaze time and again. I could admit, at least to myself, that since you’d come of age, your amorous sentiments weren’t entirely one-sided.
Which meant I had to get better about drawing lines.
“I shouldn’t have done it,” you said. You’d apologized several times already. You knew it was wrong, but I needed to make sure you knew why.
“You’re at an age where you want to test the limits of your seduction, but the true test of power is in your ability to show restraint.”
