The look of admiration in Junior’s eyes triggered something irrational inside me.
“He’s mine,” I said like a lunatic and grabbed your arm. Valentina’s eyebrows shot up, telling me to be cool.
“I mean…” I stepped away, not at all gracefully, and nearly tripped over a tree root. I was too high, too tipsy, and too confused. “I’m tired. We should go.”
“You don’t want to finish this?” Junior asked, holding up the half-smoked blunt to admire his handiwork.
“Nah, I’m toast.” I gave the boys a nod and kissed Valentina’s cheek. She whispered, “Te amo mucho,” in my ear like a witchy spell. Then I grabbed your arm and dragged you away like a caveman.
“So, those are your friends,” you said when we were sitting in your car and on our way to your condo.
“They’re good people,” I said. Much nicer than some of the assholes I went to school with. “Down-to-earth. Loyal.”
“That’s a relief.”
I glanced at you sideways. “You were ready to beat some ass back there, weren’t you, Henri?” The way you’d looked when you thought some shady shit was going down had my adrenaline pumping. My knight in shining armor.
“Only in defense of your virtue,” you said with a smile.
I laughed. “My virtue. Shit, I wish someone would try to claim it.”
The car got really quiet then. Awkwardly so. Why had I said that out loud? I studied your profile. Were you only concentrating on the road?
“If we go to the beach in the morning, I think we’ll miss most of the rain,” you said. Your segue was not at all subtle. It seemed we were back to talking about the weather.
“Do you have a boyfriend?” I asked impulsively. “Or a situationship?”
“What’s a situationship?”
“Like a friends-with-benefits but more.” Your clueless expression told me I’d need to break it down for you. “It’s like you smash, and you might, like, grab something to eat from time to time, but it’s not a thing.”
“I see,” you said. “Then, no. I have none of those things.”
“But you had that with Orlando?”
That name was like a silencing seduction. You were completely speechless.
“Yes, I did,” you said at last.
“Why don’t you have that now? With someone else, I mean.”
Your answers usually came so easily but not then.
“Work keeps me busy,” you said at last.
“Don’t you get lonely, though?” Damn, the alcohol and weed were making me brave.
“I have you, cucciolo, and you are extremely entertaining.”
That didn’t sit right with me. I wanted to be more than entertaining. I wanted you to see me as an equal, someone worthy of your respect. But here I was, acting all immature, waking you up late at night with a drunk dial and having you cover for me to my parents. It made our age difference painfully obvious.
“I won’t always be this way,” I said.
“What way is that?” you asked slowly.
“I’m going to grow up.” I wanted to be what you needed.
“Of course, you are. You’re growing every day.”
