“Except me,” I said softly.
A minivan passed us.PROUD PARENT OF AN HONOR STUDENT, said the sticker on the bumper. “Real change is visible, though. It doesn’t happen only in secret, or the dark.”
“So for you to believe me, you need a passionate embrace by the bus pan,” I said, clarifying.
“What I need,” he replied, “issomethingthat tells me what’s between us isn’t all in my head. Because that’s what it feels like right now.”
Just then, there was a loud beep from my right. I looked over: Colin and Lana were now beside us. He had his window down.
“Liz just texted,” he called out, over the sound of air whizzing at high speed between us. “She wants us to stop at PartyHQ after for an aisle runner.”
I did not even know there was a PartyHQ nearby. But from his easy tone, he’d been there a million times. Lana poked him on the shoulder, holding up the bag. He nodded, opening his mouth, and she threw a piece of popcorn in. Then they kept driving.
“It’s okay, you know,” Ben said after a moment. “To want that. A person who’s not awkward and weird and always saying the wrong thing.”
“That’s not who you are,” I said quietly.
“I’m not sure you know that.” The words hit, as he intended. “That’s my whole point. To really understand something, you have to be willing to see it in the light.”
Bly Supply was in view now. Back at the house, my first tube of toothpaste was on the shelf over the sink. It had only a small dent, was barely started.
Then we were turning into the parking lot. A beat later, Colin and Lana were right beside us. There was no time to reply, even if I had known what to say.
I thought Ben and I would have time to finish our conversation on the way back. But then Hector had called again, and my dad phoned me. It was so weird, sitting side by side and both talking to other people. I didn’t like it.
A black Prius was at the house when I returned. Inside, I found my mom at the table with Jeremy. A pile of paperwork was between them.
“… which is why I figured it would be better to explain it in person,” he was saying as he flipped through a couple of pages. “But the upshot is that it turns out several of the species your mom and Kasey have nurtured here are protected. Which means the land may be as well.”
She pulled a sheet closer, peering at it. “And that means…”
“They’d have to rethink a total razing, for a start.” Hetapped another page with a finger. “But first they need a more in-depth report of what’s here, which I’m trying to knock out now. I was hoping to get an assist—”
“Kasey’s busy with wedding stuff,” my mom said. “But I could take a look. I mean, if you’d like.”
“That would be great,” he said. He scooted his chair a little closer. “I’ll, um, just walk you through it.”
As my mom nodded and both of them bent over the papers, I had a flash of the word Kasey had used during our talk a while back about the flowers and hummingbirds. “Cultivate.” It didn’t mean a quick fix, but something achieved over time. Trial and error. Second chances. The work you put in and how it pays off, often when you least expect.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
At first it hadn’t been so bad having Colin there.
Before the rehearsal, when I heard him on the porch, telling Clark the story of how he’d broken both arms in two consecutive days the summer he was twelve (a family favorite, it involved a pool, his sister, and an especially slippery slide) I’d found myself smiling. Then he was wonderful with Jonathan’s family—one cousin he actually knew from a wilderness camp a couple of years earlier—before saving the day when the minister’s phone froze up and reset. By the time he came to stand by me to the left of the makeshift aisle at the Woods, I was thinking I’d been smart to ask him to stay.
Now I turned to look behind me, where Anne stood in the kitchen doorway. She wore a yellow dress and sandals, a flower crown Kasey had made pinned into her hair. Her bouquet was a collection of gift ribbons from her bridal shower, colorful and bright as it trailed down.
At the front of the living room, the minister and Jonathan stood by the arch, the big window that looked out at the lake just behind them. Off to the right was Ben with his guitar. No T-shirt for once. He was in a blue button-down, his hair combed, and just looking at him I felt a squeeze, tight, around my heart.
The music had been in flux up until the minister arrived, so I was curious about the final choice. When Ben started to play, I recognized the melody immediately.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
“Imagine that,” Colin said. I just looked at him. “What? They were asking for suggestions. And it works, right?”
Then he reached over, taking my hand. Confident, so sure of himself. Like it was inevitable, the next thing that was supposed to happen. Immediately, I looked at Ben. His eyes were right on me.
