“Hi,” I said, feeling like it was my job to start whatever conversation, hopefully minimal, that was necessary.
“Hey,” he replied, then immediately looked at my mom. “You need me out front?”
“Just wave people in this general direction,” my mom told him, lighting another candle. “And make sure Louna leaves; she’s got a hot date.”
At this, I felt my face flush. I hadn’t told my mom or William anything about what had almost happened between me and Ambrose on the dance floor. What was the point? You don’t start stories that have no middle or end, and this one barely had a beginning either. Just a couple of sentences, messy ones, trailing off into nothingness. Period.
“Right,” Ambrose said, turning and starting up the path. “Come on, Louna. You don’t want to keep your man waiting.”
“That’s the spirit,” my mom called out, totally oblivious. “Have fun, honey!”
Now even more uncomfortable, I kept my gaze focused on the back of Ambrose’s shirt as I followed him up the path to the parking lot where, sure enough, a clump of guests were gathered, trying to decide if they were supposed to go through the main house, around, or some other route.
“Reception is this way, everyone,” Ambrose called out, and, like lemmings in formal wear, they all headed toward us. “You’ll find your table assignments just around back. Enjoy!”
I stepped aside on the grass as one woman in a purple dress and squeaking shoes, clearly intent on hitting the appetizers first, barreled past me, her obviously embarrassed date following along behind. Soon, everyone had followed, and it was just me and Ambrose again on the sidewalk, as more cars pulled into the lot.
“I can stay awhile, if you need help,” I said, feeling like I should offer, well, something.
“I think I can handle pointing people in a certain direction,” he replied, his voice cool. “But thanks.”
Just go, I told myself, as a couple with two little girls in stiff pink dresses began to head our way, their voices carrying above us.He doesn’t want you here any more than you want to be. But then I thought again about the short time remaining before I departed for school, and how everything already felt like it was wrapping up. Who knew when I’d have another chance to do the same with this?
“Look, Ambrose,” I began, after he’d waved the family to the path. “I know this is awkward.”
“Awkward?” he replied, shaking that curl out of his face.“Why, because I basically declared my undying love for you and you walked away, never to be seen again until, well, now? How is that awkward?”
This was a lot to hear at once, so it took me a second to unpack it. Finally I said, “You didn’t declare your undying love. You asked me about Ethan.”
“I was workingupto it,” he replied. “I had to apologize first. I was processing the information I’d just heard.”
“Ambrose—”
“It was a two-pronged approach,” he continued. “I didn’t think you’d take off before I had a chance to finish.”
“Two-pronged?” I said. “You make it sound like a utensil.”
“Why didn’t you tell me it wasn’t a bad breakup you were reeling from?” he demanded. “I didn’t know what I was up against. I had no idea what you needed.”
“It’s not your job to give me what I need,” I said. “And—”
“Excuse me, is the reception in this building?” a man in a seersucker suit asked from behind us.
“Around back,” Ambrose said immediately, jabbing a finger. The man, looking apologetic, scurried off.
“Don’t take this out on the guests,” I said. “It’s me you’re mad at, remember?”
“But that’s the thing, Louna. I’m not.” He sighed, shaking his head. “Look. I know this isn’t the time or place for this, but I’m going to say it anyway. I liked you from the start. Okay? That first day, my mom’s wedding, when you grabbed me and dragged me inside, that was the beginning for me. It’s why I asked you to dance. It’s why I went out on the floor at that stupid party when Jughead was mauling you. It’s why Idid everything: the job, the bet, all of it. If I won, I was going to pick me for your next date, even if I was supposed to still be with someone else. I figured if there was no other way, then you’d have to give me a chance.”
I blinked, trying to process this. “But you were so into Lauren.”
“She was—is—great,” he said. “And we had a couple of great, epic nights together. But it was you I looked forward to seeing every day, you I wanted to hang out with even when this job was boring and stressful. I just didn’t know how to tell you, until that night at the dollar store when you said we were friends and you wanted me to be happy.”
“You knew we were friends,” I said softly.
“I hoped we were,” he replied. More cars were coming into the lot now, the bulk of the guests arriving. “When you said it, though, I saw a chance. Like an opening, big enough to wriggle through. That’s what I told Jilly, at the truck, that I’d been crazy about you all summer, but I knew you’d been hurt and wanted to be careful, to do things right. And she said it would be hard to compete with Ethan, for all kinds of reasons, so I should just be myself. I didn’t get what she meant. So I asked her to explain.”
Again, Ethan was there with us. It was like I could feel it. “I loved him so much,” I said. “No one can ever understand what losing him was like.”
