“I just feel that you—” my mom said, but that was as far as she got before Ambrose picked up the dispenser again, trying to turn it off. When he couldn’t, he stuck it in his lap, under the table, where it continued to grind louder and louder until I heard a pop. Suddenly there was a lot of tape on the floor at my feet, as well as a faint smell of smoke.
“Ambrose!” Bee screeched, losing her cool entirely. She whirled in her seat, snatching the dispenser from his lap. “God!Stop it!”
“I was just—” Ambrose said. Delicately, my mother reached down, pulling a piece of tape off her foot and putting it on her folder.
“I don’t care!” Bee said. “You’re always doing something and it’s never what you should be doing and now Mom’s hadenough and I’m stuck with you so fucking shut up and sit there and don’t touch anything!”
Silence. Out of habit, I glanced at William, who looked both horrified and thrilled by this development. I had to admit I was, too. Bee cursing was wholly unexpected. My mom, however, was hardly fazed as she said, “All I’m saying is that I think you need to keep your expectations in check.”
At this, Bee burst into tears. As she put her hands to her pretty face, shoulders shaking, Ambrose patted her arm, then said to us, “It’s a stressful thing, a wedding.”
“Oh my god!” she screeched, wrenching away from him. She pushed back her chair, getting to her feet. “I’m sorry. I just... I need....”
“Of course,” William said smoothly. “Restroom is around the corner. I’ll get you a water.”
I wasn’t sure that was going to help, especially after I heard how hard the bathroom door slammed a moment later. Nevertheless, he disappeared down the hallway with a bottle in hand, leaving me, my mom, and Ambrose alone. I looked down at the floor. Tape was everywhere.
“You know, Ambrose,” my mother said after a moment, “it would be ahugehelp to us if you didn’t drive your sister insane before August.”
Despite Bee’s breakdown and the tape explosion, there was only one thing I noticed as my mother said this: for the first time, she was talking in We when it came to this wedding. Bee was surely embarrassed. But thanks to said outburst, it looked like my mom was finally in.
“People never believe me when I tell them this,”Ambrose replied, folding his arms on the table. “But I’m nottryingto annoy her. She’s just very sensitive.”
“You really think that’s the issue?” my mother asked.
He nodded, somber. “Always has been.”
“I heard your mother sent you here because she was so frustrated with dealing with you.”
“True,” he agreed. “And I wrecked her car. But in my defense, she isalsovery sensitive. I think it’s a genetic thing.”
Oh, for God’s sake, I thought, fighting the urge to roll my eyes. Of course it was everyone else’s fault. Next he’d blame the tape dispenser. My mother, however, smiled at him, clearly amused. “Did I hear Bee say you need a job?”
“That’s what I’m told,” he replied.
“You’re told?”
“It’s actually more of an ultimatum,” he admitted. “Apparently I am both annoyingandexpensive.”
Instead of replying, my mom just studied him, one hand twisting the diamond necklace she wore every day. I didn’t like the look on her face even before she said, “How about this: you work for me this summer, and I’ll take your wages off my fee, which your mother is paying.”
“Really?”
“Mom?” I said, stunned.
Ambrose grinned at me. “Did you hear that? We’ll be co-workers!”
“But you have to actuallywork,” she told him, firm now. “I don’t do annoying or expensive. And you show up on time. Is that clear?”
“Absolutely,” he replied. “When do I start?”
“Now.” My mom pushed out her chair, then pointed under the table. “Pick up all this tape. Then come find me for a coffee order. I need caffeine.”
“On it,” Ambrose said, giving her a mock salute as she started into her office. I followed her, glancing behind us just before shutting the door to see him crouched down on the carpet, picking up the tape one piece at a time. He saw me looking at him and gave me a cheerful thumbs-up. Jesus.
“Are you crazy?” I said to her, closing the door. “Why in the world would you hire him?”
“It’s our job to keep brides calm and focused,” she replied, pulling her wallet out of her purse. “This wedding is a mess so far, and yet the only time I’ve seen Bee upset has been because of Ambrose. This way, he’s out of her hair and helping us at the same time.”
