I release the heaviest sigh I've ever felt in my life.
Role of prey?
Chapter Eighteen
Cross
Role of prey? What the fuck does that mean? How am I supposed to be prey for anything?
My door chirps with the entry code and Parker barges in with his own envelope in his hand. “Did you get one of these?”
I wave my note at him. “Apparently I'm pretending to be prey tonight. What about you?”
He blinks at me. “You got prey?”
“Yes. What did you get?”
“Prey,” he bites out. “How areyousupposed to be prey? You're an alpha. You can't be prey.”
Shrugging, I drop the paper back onto my dresser and sit down on my bed. “It's not like we're actual prey. They're not allowed to kill us here, much less eat us.” I laugh at my horrible joke, but Parker doesn't crack a smile.
His brows fall into an angry line. “It's a test.”
“For what?”
He sighs and sinks down onto the bed next to me. “You. What happens if you can't shift? Are you going to let them run you down on two legs? What if they attack you like what happened to me last week?”
I haven't had enough time to properly think this situation through, but that is a problem. Any other time I wouldn't even worry about it. My wolf wouldn't allow us to be chased or caught. But if I can't call him forward? I don't know.
“You can't go,” Parker says firmly.
“I have to,” I counter. “I didn't go last week. It would look bad if I skipped out on this one.”
“You have to skip out on this one, Cross,” he insists. “You can't shift.”
Embarrassment fueled anger sizzles through me. “I can shift,” I growl. “It's just hard.”
He takes a breath before he responds quietly. “When was the last time you shifted?”
I don't answer. It hurts too much – both the truth of it and the reason for my last shift. I don't want to have to tell Parker that the last time I was able to shift was months ago, or that the only reason I was able to do it was because Eugenia was in heat and my wolf wanted to go to her more than he wanted to avoid me. I don't want to tell him that I'm terrified that he won't come back to me at all because I fought like hell to keep from going to her. Ionly just got him back, I don't want to lose him again to my own weakness.
“When, Cross? How long has it been?”
“It's been a while,” I answer, both truthful and avoidant.
“Do you think you can shift tonight if you need to?”
Closing my eyes, I sigh and lay back onto the mattress. Searching inside myself for my wolf has only gotten more difficult. He is as elusive now as he has been for nearly a year, but I have to believe that if I was in true danger, if I truly needed him, he would come when I called; if only out of self preservation. “He'll come if I need him.”
Parker lays back next to me, his body closer to mine than I've felt in so long. His scent surrounds me and I breathe deeply to pull it inside me.
“I missed you,” I whisper. “I missed you so much.”
His finger brushes against mine between us. “I know. I missed you, too.”
***
“No.”
