“What's wrong with him?”
He glares at me for a long moment, mouth open and fingers clenching. “None of your business.”
I unbutton my jeans and start on the zipper.
“Just stop.”
“Stop what? We're shifting for the hunt. I like these jeans.” I step closer to him and lower my voice. “What is wrong him? Why isn't he going tonight?”
“Don't worry about it.”
“It looks bad.”
He rubs his jaw again. “I know that.”
I step even closer, almost close enough to brush against him, and lower my voice to a whisper. “What's wrong with him, Parker?”
“Just drop it,” he hisses, glancing around to see if anyone is paying attention to us. “Please. Just drop it.”
“Fine.” I'll find out eventually. Everyone will.
The other people in our group find their way to us as I shift. Oddly, Parker puts himself between me and the others until it's over. And as odd as it is, it only feels appropriate that I return the favor. Parker and I aren't friends, we're closer to enemies, but it seems we are a united front when it comes to strangers.
Chapter Sixteen
Genie
The rules were made simple earlier in the day. There is an abundance of prey on the grounds. It doesn't matter what we go after, we just need to do it as a unit. On the outside, this looks like a get to know your peers activity, but it doesn't feel right to me. It seems like a terrible idea to throw a bunch of wolves who are unfamiliar with each other into a hunt without expecting at least some form of violence to break out, especially when prey is involved. A simple run would have been a safer option. Noneof us have bonds. We can't communicate with each other. We'll have to rely on our literal animal instincts. I understand the idea, but this really does seem like a dangerous idea.
I am the only female in my group, but that doesn't bother me. I have taken point on more hunts and runs than most wolves because of my status. I know of a few packs who treat their females like they're made of glass, but my pack isn't one of them. Our females are just as fierce as our males. Everyone has their own strengths to lend and I have always been a leader.
The others in our group are not leaders. All three are betas and happy to defer to either Parker or me. They stand behind us, waiting for us to lead them into the trees after the bell sounds to start the hunt.
Parker... Honestly, I don't know what he is or what he's doing. He hasn't positioned himself in front of me or behind me, but he isn't quite beside me either. As Drew's Second he has to be an enforcer at the very least, but his energy isn't as strong as an alpha's. His wolf is beautiful, though. Rich brown fur with darker brown accents and a gracefully solid frame. He'd be handsome in either form if he wasn't such a dick. It's really too bad.
The bell rings, loud and shrill, and most of the groups sprint into the trees without hesitation. The three betas behind Parker and I glance between each other and at each of us, but they don't move an inch. Parker looks at me and there's a pause before his amber eyes seem to roll before he takes one step toward the trees.
Nope. I'm not blindly following Parker into the forest.
Go.
Apparently my wolf is more than happy to follow his lead.
I hesitate, but she's in control now and she moves us forward to fall in place just behind him to the right. It feels natural. It almost feels good. And that makes me angry. This shouldn't feel good. It should feel offensive.Heis offensive.
He is a good wolf.
I don't have a polite response to that. Instead of sulking or stewing, I allow myself to fade into the recess of this shared mind and give her full control. I trust her even if I don't trust him.
I have fallen into the habit of essentially only being vaguely and semi conscious of what's happening when I hand my wolf control. I know I shouldn't. I know it's irresponsible and potentially dangerous, but I'm so tired. There are so many choices to make and they're all heavy. If I make the wrong choice for anything, I could ruin so many lives. My family, my pack, depends on me to make the best decisions for our collective future. It's wrong for me to let go of myself so freely, but I am exhausted. I haven't talked about it with anyone, including the counselors here, but when Drew rejected me I lost part of myself and I have never been able to reclaim it. I am so tired. I can't sleep, and even when I do sleep it's broken. Sadness and exhaustion make it hard to breathe every minute of every day. The only time I get any real rest at all is when I give myself over to my wolf. There have been a few moments when my wolf almost made a catastrophically bad decision. I managed to surface just in time to save us, but it was only a few times.
I have learned not to let myself fade too deeply when I'm approaching heat, though. Recently, I can't allow myself to shift at all. It's too dangerous. She almost let an enforcer from one of the neighboring territories claim us once, and that was enough for me to never put us in that position again. Wolves might take human wants into consideration a large part of the time, but they are ruled by instinct. Her instincts led her to present herself to a strong wolf with gorgeous traits and an acceptable status in his pack, which would be fine if our entire pack didn't depend on me making the right choice for our human halves as well as our wolves.
Sometimes things happen that pull me to the surface whether I like it or not. Like right now. A large body knocks into me from the left and I snap into consciousness doused in startled irritation. There is a trio of deer in a clearing before me, but that's nothing that would need my presence. My wolf is more than capable of handling a single or group hunt with or without me, probably better without me to be perfectly honest.
I don't have to look to see who bumped into me. Parker's scent is obnoxiously heavy. He leans into me again, barely more than a brush of fur, and I turn my head to glance at him. He isn't looking at me. He's staring unblinking into the brush at the side of the clearing, not the deer. I focus my attention there, lifting my nose to try to catch a scent of something important.
What I notice first is an absence of scent. The three betas who are supposed to be part of our group aren't with us and I don't sense them close by. A tendril of unease snakes up my spine and I instinctively lean into Parker before I can stop myself. He gives me a nudge, but not to push me away. A low growl vibrates in his throat and I strain my eyes to see what he's seeing. I'm suddenly horrified to find myself wishing that I had a bond with him so we could communicate.
