Alpha Cross looks at his son with so much despair in his eyes. “It's your only option. Your wolf is leaving you. You won't be able to shift anymore soon. The entire pack can feel it. They are afraid and they are beginning to feel lost. I am old, Drew. I can still meet any challenge that comes at me, but the reality is still that I am old and getting older. You have to go to Recovery. It'sthe only option. If you won't give up Parker, then you must learn how to function without your mate in order to retain your wolf.”
“Does anyone else know?” I ask quietly. I have tried to stay mostly silent in the few days that have passed since the disastrous attempt at a second mating ceremony between Cross and Eugenia, but no one is volunteering the information and I need the answer to my question to be no.
“Know what?” Alpha Cross snarls. “That their future alpha is too selfish to put them first, or that he's actively losing his wolf?”
“I tried to stay away,” I say blandly. “I tried. I thought it would help.”
“You thought wrong. It just created a different, more alarming situation.”
“Why wouldn't you claim her?” I demand, cutting my eyes at Cross. “She was right there. She was yours. Everything would be okay now. She was right there.”
“So were you,” he states plainly.
I drag my fingers through my hair and pop my neck. This is exhausting. Everything we do brings us right back here. Are we doomed? Is that what it is? We're just doomed to destroy everything around us no matter what?”
“You're going with him,” Alpha Cross decrees.
“What?” Cross and I both say at the same time, our gazes snapping to his.
“You're both going. You declared him as your Second for everyone to witness. Even if the situation was different, he'd still be going with you because that's what Second's do. They support and protect their Alpha.”
“Unless they need to stay behind and protect the pack,” Cross amends.
“That ship has sailed, son,” Alpha Cross says. “He's as broken as you are. You both need to go. Learn how to function as a working unit, not a fucking unit.”
“Dad!” Cross hisses.
“Don't be shy now, Drew. You need to learn how to lead the pack without a Luna until you find one who will be compatible with you, and you need to do it fast before your wolf leaves you for good. And you,” Alpha Cross raises a brow at me. “You need to learn your place. You allow him to lean on you too much. He can't lead if you're supporting him more than he supports himself. I know what you've been doing out there. You've been more wolf than man for too long. You will both go to Recovery and then you'll come back here and lead this pack. If you've got any sense about you, you will beg some decent female to come back with you to be your Luna. At this point, my approval is nowhere near a priority. The presence of a Luna will fix a lot of things, and you have the presence of mind between the two of you to know which female would make a good Luna or not. You leave tomorrow. We can't waste time on this.”
Briefly, my mind goes back to my last hunt. The taste of deer, wild and fresh. The scent of grass and damp earth.
I want to go back there.
I want to stay there.
Alpha Cross is right. I need to learn my place. I can't run from my responsibilities to this pack any more than Cross can.
I sleep on Cross's bedroom floor when we finally drag ourselves to his apartment. I don't want to talk, but there are too many things to say.
“You had them cage you?” I ask into the still darkness.
“I had to,” he answers. “I hurt people.”
I nod even though he can't see me. “Did she reject you this time? Or did you reject her?”
He's quiet for a bit, then he answers. “I'm not really sure. But she hates me. I can feel it. It hurts.”
“Maybe we can do Recovery and then you can try again.”
He scoffs. “Do you really think she's going to let me try again? I wouldn't if I was her.”
I nod again. I wouldn't let him, either. But that doesn't make it okay. He didn't reject her.
“She hates you, too,” Cross says.
“I know.”
I'm not too fond of her, either. She didn't even give him a chance this time. She just ran. This time it's just as much her fault as it is his, or ours. Maybe even more. She isn't innocent this time.
