“Wait, and Fletcher’s dating this girl?” Ember leans forward, resting on the console between my seat and Brinley’s.
“I don’t know.” I shrug, sinking into the seat. “It seems that way.”
“She doesn’t sound like someone Fletcher would be interested in,” Maia argues. “Especially if he knew how she treated you.”
“If I tried to bring up my lack of enthusiasm with him dating Casey, he would just say I’m jealous and trying to break them up. I mean, I told him I felt like she was throwing passive comments at me when we ran into her at the grocery store, and he defended her over me, so.”
“He defended her?” Brinley glances over at me before her eyes meet the road again.
“Okay, maybe defend is the wrong terminology, but he did tell me I was reading into it.”
“Can I ask you a question?” Ember falls back into her seat, taking a sip of her coffee. I turn to face her, allowing her to continue. “Do you love him? And I don’t mean,‘he’s my best friend, of course I love him,’I mean, really love him.”
“Honestly, I think he’s the only boy I’ve ever loved. That’s the problem.”
“Why’s that a problem?” Maia raises an eyebrow.
“I have two parents who are supposed to love me more than anything, but act like I don’t exist. I practically raised myself, and then I met Fletcher and his family; suddenly, I wasn’t alone anymore. How can I expect someone to love me in that way and stick around when even my own parents didn’t want to?”
I know things could be worse. My parents could’ve actually abandoned me. I thought about that a lot as a kid. What would my life be like if they had given me up? Sometimes, I felt like it might be easier. At least then, I could tell myself they gave me up because they loved me so much, they wanted me to have a good life. Instead, I grew up with parents who were practically ghosts.
And once my mom found out I wanted to be a musician and tour the world instead of a surgeon or lawyer, I lost her last bit of interest in me.
“You know, I used to feel the same way.” Ember taps the top of her lid. “I grew up with a mom who belittled me. She constantly told me I wasn’t good enough, but framed it as the world wouldn’t think I was good enough, so she didn’t seem like a bad mom. She did that so much that I started to believe her. I thought I wasn’t worthy of friends, life… love. She was wrong, though. Declan helped me realize that.”
“I appreciate you saying that, and I’m happy that you were able to find that, but Fletcher and I already went down that road. He shut it down.”
“Technically, you shut it down first. And it was only a kiss; you didn’t give it a real shot.” Brinley shrugs.
“We didn’t give it a shot becausehedidn’t want to. If he did, he would’ve fought for it.”
“Like you did?” Brin’s eyebrow raises.
I know she doesn’t mean anything by it. She’s not wrong. I could’ve told Fletcher that our kiss meant everything to me.
I didn’t.
Maybe I did run, but it was easier than looking my best friend in the face and telling him I’ve been in love with him since the day I met him.
“Fletcher and I aren’t going to happen, okay? Can we change topics now? Like, what are we doing for your birthday when we get back?”
“Of course.” Brinley reaches out and squeezes my forearm, ignoring my question. “I’m just saying, Fletcher doesn’t look at Casey the way he looks at you. He’s never looked at anybody the way he looks at you.”
I know she’s trying to help; most people would be excited to hear that. But me?
It only makes all of this hurt more.
twenty-four
Fletcher
Sneaking out on me?” I turn around to see Casey’s eyes scanning my naked body.
“I’m not sneaking out.” I grab my boxers off the floor and pull them on. “I just didn’t want to wake you.” I lean over the bed and press my lips to hers. “I wrote you a note.”
“You’re the only guy I’ve ever met that actually writes a heading-out note over sending a text.”
“It’s more personable.”
