“The man puts a baby in me and then is surprised when the baby causes his momma to be super hormonal.”
Tate chuckles.
“I mean, how could you not cry looking at this. Like, how is my baby going to be this small?” She holds the overalls up to give us a clearer view.
I know not all babies are born the same size, but when we were looking through the newborn clothes, I thought about how small babies are when they’re first born.
Then I thought about how some women push a baby out of their vagina, and suddenly the newborn onesies didn’t seem so small.
“I thought the same thing, and then I thought about pushing out the baby that would fit in those clothes, and suddenly they seemed a lot bigger,” Tate replies as Stella pulls out the next thing.
“Do you want kids?” Stella isn’t staring at the onesie currently in her hands but at Tate.
“No.” She shakes her head.
“You don’t?” I turn toward her, honestly surprised this has never come up.
Sure, we’ve only been dating for a couple of months, but she’s been my best friend for nearly fifteen years.
“No,” she repeats. “I’ve never seen myself taking on that role in my life. I don’t want to have a baby and have them go through what I did as a kid. I know where my priorities lie for my future, and it’s in my career. I know what it’s like to have parents more focused on their careers than their kids, so no, I don’t plan on having any.”
I can feel Chase’s eyes on me.
He knows I’ve always wanted a big family, precisely for the same reason Tate doesn’t want one; incredible parents raised me. I was raised in a loving household surrounded by siblings.
I don’t know why I never considered that not being part of Tate’s plan.
“You still have time, though; it’s not something you have to know right now.” Chase rubs Stella’s back.
“I don’t see myself changing my mind on this.” Tate shrugs, and I can tell she’s feeling a bit uncomfortable. He’s not trying to badger her; she has every right to not want to have kids. It’s a bigger commitment for her than it would be for me.
Obviously, once the baby is born, I’d be 100% hands-on, but I also wouldn’t have to step away from work during the pregnancy. She could try to work and be a mom, but you never know what will happen while you’re pregnant.
“There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to be a mom.” Stella chimes in. “It’s not for everyone. And you should never feel pressured into it.”
“Do you want kids?” Her eyes soften as they try to read my expression.
“I want you.” I rest my forehead against hers. “That’s what matters to me.”
She gives me a gentle kiss, but as she pulls back, I feel like there’s a piece of her missing.
And I don’t know what that means in terms of us.
I would choose her over a family any day.
She’s it for me.
She always has been.
It’s just my moms, Tate, and me for lunch today. Stella and Chase were going to come back over, but she had an ultrasound.
“Have you talked to Zeke today?” My mama takes a sip of her soda; her eyes never leave me.
“No. Tate talked to Avalon this morning, and I guess there’s this garden outside of the hospital that his mom loves that he was going to take her to today.”
“That poor boy.” My mom frowns. “He’s such a sweetheart and doesn’t deserve to go through this. I mean, nobody does. It’s bad enough losing a parent, but losing them in this way.”
“Yeah. I don’t even want to think about how this will change Zeke.” Tate tugs on her ear, twisting the earring.
