It’s barely a whisper, but I can hear the nerves in each word. Almost as if she thinks I’m gonna be mad at her for stopping something she’s not ready for.
“Hey.” I grab her chin between my thumb and forefinger, and my eyes soften as I smile. “We aren’t going to do something you’re not ready to do.”
“But we got this far, and you’re,” she glances down at the apparent bulge trying to fight its way through my zipper, “ready.”
I smirk down at her before bridging the gap to kiss her nose. My hand reaches up and brushes a strand of hair away from her face.
“And you’re not. And that’s okay.”
I pull myself off her, allowing us to move up against the headboard.
“I don’t knowwhenI’ll be ready.” She lets out a shaky breath. “If I’ll ever be ready.”
“Ember.” I thread my fingers through hers, my thumb running circles around her hand. “You went through something traumatic, something not many people can understand.”
She squeezes her eyes shut as if she’s trying to erase that memory. I run my free hand up and down her thigh to try and relax her.
“And if I ran right now just because you weren’t ready to have sex, I’d be no better than him.”
“But—”
“I like you, Ember. I mean, do I want to sleep with you? Hell yeah, I do. I honestly don’t know how I’ve controlled myself around you this long.”
She laughs.
“I’m not gonna lie and say there haven’t been some impromptu showers after you leave my house because I can’t get you out of my mind,” I add; her eyes widen with shock like she can’t imagine being the reason I need to release. But this only makes her laugh harder. “But I respect where you’re at, and the last thing I want is for you to do something because you’re worried you’ll lose me if you don’t.”
I lift her hand and press a warm kiss on the inside of her palm.
“Because you won’t,” I promise.
She nods as a wave of relief washes over her face. Her mouth opens and then closes like she has something to say but doesn’t know how.
“What’s wrong?” I question.
“Nothing.” She shakes her head. “I mean—”
“Em?”
“Can you promise me something?” she asks, her voice a little shaky.
“Of course.”
She takes a deep breath, but my focus remains on her. I’m not even distracted by the way her skin feels under my fingertips.
“If this isn’t working for you,” she motions between us, “if you realize that you need that part of a relationship, be honest with me,please.”
Her eyes soften as she brings her hand to my face and brushes my lips with her thumb.
“It will be a lot easier to accept that I couldn’t give you what you needed than to find out someone else did while we were… well, whatever this is.”
“I promise,” I whisper. “I’m not going anywhere, Em. I’m here and in this, whatever it is.”
“Good.”
“Can you promise me something?”
“Yeah.” She smiles at me.
