“I don’t know, Brin.”
“Goober,” she rests a hand on my shoulder, “I can’t remember the last time I saw you look at a girl the way you look at her.”
She continues before I have a chance to respond.
“Hockey has been your main focus for so long that I’ve only ever seen you look at a girl withfuck meeyes… until her.”
I groan, ignoring the end of that sentence.
“Brin, you know I hate when you say—”
“Fuck? Well, I learned it from my favorite person. So, if it’s anyone’s fault, it’s yours.”
“I hate that I was that kind of guy.” I pause. “Afuck meeyes kind of guy.”
“You’re young, Declan; it’s okay to want to have fun,” she smiles, “as long as you know when the fun is over.”
“I like her, Brin.”
It’s the first time I’ve admitted it. It’s the first time I’ve said it out loud. It was always just something the guys teased me about. For a while, Ember was over at our house every day. The guys would heckle me every time she left. And I’d laugh with them, tell them we were just friends, but I still don’t really know if we’re even that.
“I know, Goober.”
“But I don’t deserve her,” I whisper.
“Everyone deserves someone who makes them happy,” she says, finally sitting on the couch beside me.
“I know. But I’ve made a lot of mistakes, mistakes that hurt people and—”
“We’ve all made mistakes.” She grabs my hands and squeezes them, “Whatever you did, it’s in the past, right?”
It might’ve happened a couple years ago, but it’s fresh in my mind. Like it happened yesterday.
“Yeah.” I sigh. “It’s in the past.”
“Then let yourself be happy, okay?”
“Okay.”
Brinley pats my back before she heads toward the kitchen. I hear the fridge open and then shut moments later.
“Speaking of happy, Mom would love for you to call her,” she begins. “She misses her sweet baby boy’s voice. Her words, not mine.”
“Yeah, I’ll call her tonight before bed,” I respond. “Did she say why?”
“I assume it’s about the game, but she didn’t say.”
I hear the clanking of pans and running water before I put it together that Brinley’s cooking dinner… again.
“If you keep cooking for the guys, one of them is bound to fall in love with you, right?”
“That’s the idea.” She laughs, and I shake my head.
I sit my laptop on the coffee table and get up. I stop, pressing the refresh button one last time. A new email appears on top of all the old ones, and I click on it.
I smile when I see Ember’s response.
I wouldn’t miss it.
