My chest felt too tight.
"The organization is investing in your future here," Mark continued. "Captain for the next five years minimum. Face of the franchise. That comes with expectations. They need to know you're all-in. That nothing is going to derail your focus or create PR headaches."
I thought about Theo in the parking lot three weeks ago.How long can we keep doing this?
I thought about his face when I had pulled back at the bar, treating him like a stranger while wanting to pull him close in front of everyone.
"I am all-in," I heard myself say.
Practice that afternoon was torture.
Theo smiled at me during warm-ups—bright and genuine and completely unguarded. I looked away.
During drills, I kept my distance. When he needed correction, I used words instead of touch. I kept my voice level and professional. Team captain coaching his rookie. Nothing more.
I watched the confusion creep into Theo’s eyes like water rising.
In the locker room after practice, he caught my arm as I headed for the showers.
"Hey. You okay?"
His fingers were warm through my compression shirt. I stepped back, breaking contact.
"Fine. Why?"
"You've been weird all day." Theo’s voice dropped lower. "Did something happen?"
Yes. I'm choosing my career over you and I hate myself for it.
"I'm busy," I said. "Contract stuff. It's a lot."
"Oh." He nodded, but something shuttered behind his eyes. "Yeah. Of course. Big deal."
"Yeah."
We stood there in the too-bright locker room with teammates moving around us. Theo looked like he wanted to say more. I wanted to be anywhere else.
"I'll text you later?" he offered.
I should've said yes. I should've found a way to explain that the distance wasn't about him, wasn't about us. That I was just scared and trapped and didn't know how to choose between everything I had built and everything I wanted.
Instead, I said, "Probably going to be swamped all week. Contract meeting prep."
"Right." Theo’s smile didn't reach his eyes. "Sure. Good luck with that."
He turned and headed for the showers. I watched him go.
Garrett appeared at my elbow. "You're an idiot."
"Excuse me?"
"Whatever you are doing—pulling back, pushing him away—it's written all over both your faces." Garrett kept his voice low. "And it's a mistake."
"You don't know what you're talking about."
"I know you've been different the last few weeks. Lighter. Like you finally let yourself breathe." Garrett’s eyes held no judgment, just steady truth. "And I know you're scared shitless about that contract meeting."
My jaw locked. "It's complicated."
