And I was dragging Theo into it with me.
My phone buzzed with a text from Theo.
Theo:I'm home. I'm okay. Just needed space.
I typed back:I'm sorry for hurting you.
His response came after a long pause.
Theo:I know you are. I just wish you would stop.
I stared at those words until my eyes burned. He was right. Being sorry wasn't enough. Apologies didn't fix anything when I kept making the same choices. When I kept asking him to be invisible. When I kept treating him like a secret shame instead of...
Instead of what he actually was. The best thing that had happened to me in years. Maybe ever.
I needed to do better. Be better. Find a way to give him something real, even if I couldn't give him everything.
I just had no idea how.
7
Theo
The knock on my apartment door came at eleven-thirty, long after I had given up on hearing from Luca.
I'd spent the last two hours staring at my phone. I drafted and deleted messages.Are you okay?Too desperate.We should talk.Too formal.Fuck you for treating me like nothing.Too honest.
I settled on silence and tried to convince myself I was fine with it.
The knock came again. Quieter this time. Almost hesitant.
I knew who it was before I opened the door. Something in my chest pulled tight—the same magnetic force that had been dragging me toward Luca Moretti since the day I crashed into him with a coffee.
He stood in my hallway looking wrecked. He was still in the dark jeans and Storm hoodie from earlier, his hair disheveled like he'd been running his hands through it for hours. His eyes were red-rimmed, his face pale.
"I'm sorry," he said before I could speak. "I'm so fucking sorry, Theo."
My ribs were healing, but they still ached when I breathed too deep. My heart was a different kind of bruise entirely.
"Come in." I stepped back, hating how easily I gave in. Hating how much I wanted him here despite everything.
Luca moved past me into my barely furnished apartment. He'd been here three times in three weeks—always after dark, always careful. He stood in the middle of my living room like he didn't know what to do with his hands.
I closed the door and leaned against it, arms crossed. Waiting.
"Tonight was..." He stopped, his jaw working. "The way I treated you at the bar. In the parking lot. It was wrong."
"Yeah. It was."
His eyes closed briefly. When they opened again, they were devastated. "You deserve better than being someone's secret."
"I knew what I was getting into." The words came out flat. "You made it clear from the start. Nothing public. I agreed."
"That doesn't make it right." Luca took a step toward me, then stopped himself. "I watched you tonight. Laughing with Santos and Reid. Being yourself. And I couldn't even stand next to you. Couldn't touch you. Couldn't..." His voice cracked. "I left because I was about to break in front of everyone."
Something in my chest loosened a fraction. "You could have texted. Told me that."
"I was afraid if I texted, I would say things I can't take back." He ran a hand through his hair, making the mess worse. "Things that would make this harder for both of us."
