I nodded, hoping she was telling the truth. I fucked with Jada. Liked what little she did bring to the table, but I wouldn’t hesitate to remove her from it if necessary.
The next morning,I woke up to the sound of my alarm. Dragging my hands down my face, I grunted and reached over to the nightstand to silence the alarm. Seven o’clock. Yawning, I sat up, closed my eyes and said my usual morning prayer: Thank you. It wasn’t much, but it was good enough.
Stretching, I grabbed my phone and checked it. Nothing. Just the way I liked it. People knew not to hit me before or after certain times. I was serious as hell about my business hours. But at around twelve, the phone was going to be jumping.
I got out of bed and hit the connected bathroom to piss, wash my face and brush my teeth. After handling everything in the bathroom, I headed down to my ma’s bedroom. I tapped on the door a couple of times before walking in. She was up. Hands resting on her chest, eyes to the ceiling, quiet. As usual. The last time I heard her voice, she was screaming at the top of her lungs for my pops. It was a couple of days after he died. She’d have these screaming fits, almost as if she’d snapped out of a fog and back into reality where Isaiah no longer existed. She went from having screaming fits to complete silence. You’d think we would have preferred the quiet, but we didn’t. Well shit, I knew for sure that I didn’t. The screaming told me she was still here with us. Living, in reality, regardless of how irate it might’ve been. The silence was unsettling, for real.
“Good morning, Sweet Lady,” I said, drawing the drapes to her balcony doors.
After I opened the drapes to the door, I moved over to the windows and drew those too. Since the sun was shining, I decided that we’d have breakfast in the backyard on the patio instead of at the kitchen island. Moms needed the sun on her.
I walked over to the bed and kissed her on the top of her salt and peppered fro. “After I get you together we gon’ go outside and eat breakfast. Cool?”
As expected, she didn’t say anything.
Before pops died, moms and I were close as hell. Damn near every morning, I’d wake up and go straight to my parents’ room to hug and talk to my momma. We kicked it. I was able to keep it real with her. Talking to her came easier than talking to my pops. The both of them were heavily religious, but pops? Pops had theword of God literally embedded in him and clung on to every word. Moms, however, understood that we were human—young boys, growing up in the hood—so we would fall short. That didn’t stop her from chastising me when I got a little too out of pocket though. I missed those days the most. I couldn't believe my OG was literally a shell of who she used to be.
After helping her out of bed, we headed for her bathroom. Despite wanting to take care of her, this was a part of the process that would take some getting used to.
It wasn’t ideal.
Seeing my ma naked but shit, what else was I supposed to do? Leave her here to fend for herself because I was a little uncomfortable? Put it all on Genny when I knew for a fact sis needed a break and could use a vacation? I was a lot of things but selfish wasn’t one of them. Plus, I loved the fuck out of my family and would go to the end of the world for them. Wreck some shit and go through a little bit of discomfort for them too. It was all love.
Once she was in the shower, I did what Genny suggested. Added body wash to her rag and handed it to her. I exhaled when she took it from me. First time she did that since I’ve been out here. Stepping back, I closed the shower door and told her I would be back in a little bit to check on her.
Walking out of the bathroom, I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. Tossing my head back against it, I closed my eyes and prayed for the second time today. Asking God for strength and of course healing over my moms. I’d been praying for that shit since the start of it. You’d think I would have given up by now, but nah. I knew in my spirit that there was only a matter of time before the real Marietta came back. Shit just took a little—or a lot—of patience.
Hours later, ma was dressed, breakfast was done and we were out on the patio eating. I threw some shit together realquick. Scrambled eggs with cheese, grits, and sausage links. Nothing too crazy. I wasn’t the best at cooking, but I did a little something. I thought about getting a cook to come to the house but again… I was selective as fuck about who I allowed in the crib.The home health thing was different. That was necessary. Anything extra and unnecessary usually stayed on the other side of the door.
“You done?” I asked moms, noticing when she pushed her plate aside.
She looked off into the distance, slight smile on her face. Often, I wondered what could be going through her mind. When she smiled, had she slipped into time? To a better place? Where pops was here and we were complete? Did she see herself at the church, doing what she did best: work the room? I thought about that a lot, low key. Wondered if she wasn’t here because she was someplace else.
I grabbed her plate and asked her if she wanted to go back into the crib. Communicating with her when she was nonverbal was hard, but I was good at reading body language. Knowing what she wanted wasn’t the easiest but if I paid close enough attention, I would get it. I stood there a minute, studying her, watching as she looked around the backyard, possibly admiring the blossoming flowers, and the bushes that were starting to sprout. A couple of feet away, on the fence sat a red cardinal. I followed her eyes and realized then, that she was staring at it. She wasn’t ready to go inside. Cool.
I took our plates into the crib and rejoined her at the patio table. Crossing one arm over my chest, I grabbed my phone and scrolled my homepage until I got to the Kindle app. Tapping it, I sat back and read picked up where I left off at in ‘Hoodlum’ by K’Wan.
I was a reader. Wouldn’t say I was heavy into it. I did it when I could. When life slowed down enough for me to. If I wasn’ttired as fuck by the end of the night, I usually laid up reading until I fell asleep. Jada hated that shit. Couldn’t understand how me—as the nigga that I was—read books. If she would have paid attention back in the day when we were coming up, she would've seen then that I was into it.
I got into it for an escape. First got into it in middle school. Eighth grade, I think. Peeped this one chick reading ‘True To The Game’. Asked her what it was and she put me on. That was the first book I read. Shit had me hooked. It was like looking in the mirror, for real. I wasn’t off in the streets of course, but it was all around me. So, yeah. I was immediately hooked. As the son of a preacher, I probably shouldn’t have been reading it, but I never gave a fuck. Snuck to the library to read hood books every day. Pops thought I was on some studying shit. Nah, I was reading about murder, drugs, guns, and fucking.
After sitting out there with her for a good hour or so, I closed the book, took moms in the crib, and got on the jack with Kiss. Because I was out here with moms, him and Zeke were handling the bulk of the logistics.
“What up doe?” Kiss answered before coughing. Nigga was for sure smoking his morning wood.
“Checkin in,” I said, sitting on the couch, eyes peeled, watching The Bernie Mac Show. That was what moms did. Sit on the couch all day, eyes glued to old ass episodes of Bernie Mac until it was time for her to do something else. That was changing today though. I was going to give her a couple hours on it and then we were going to go for a walk. She had the use of her limbs—it was her mind that wasn’t right. Genesis did what she could. Appeased moms. Kept her calm and shit like that but to me, in order to see real improvement we had to keep her outside and mobile. Coming here, being here for a couple of days showed me just how flawed her everyday routine was.
“‘Bout to go to the church right now,” he said. “What moms doin?”
“Same shit,” I said. “I’m about to take her out for a walk though. Up the block for now. When shorty come I’m going to have her gradually increase it. Probably see about getting her on the trail.”
“You think she up for that?”
“Not really. That’s why we ain’t goin far for real. Just a couple houses down. Weather breakin’… gotta get her up off this couch.”
“Good shit,” he said. “You think about what happened yesterday?”
I stroked my beard. “Hell naw. You know me.”
