“You’re baiting me, Caroline. It’s not working. By the time we finish, you’ll be splashing around like a fish in the shallow end,” he promised.
“Do the fish on the deeper end swim differently?” she asked innocently.
Jameson tickled her, making her squirm while she held onto his arms. “Are you about done?” he asked. “Who are you and what did you do with my Caroline?”
“Stop tickling me,” she begged. “I’ll be good.”
“Somehow, I doubt it,” he muttered as he settled her against his chest once more. “Close your eyes.”
“You won’t let me go?” she asked timidly.
“Never,” he promised.
She snuggled into his shoulder and let her body relax. The waves from his movements gently rocked her.
“You’re doing great,” he whispered. “Tilt your head back and let it fall in the water. I’m still holding your waist. Let your body float.”
“Do you know where I’m staying when I get to the ranch?” she asked.
“No. I’m sure Rebecca has a cabin ready, or you can stay with her or Rachel,” he suggested. “Have you spoken with them lately?”
“No. Victoria took up most of my time, and then I spent the rest with Dad,” she admitted. “I don’t want them to feel obligated to me.”
“They didn’t have to invite you to the shower. They want you there,” he pointed out. “Do you have other plans?”
“No. I’m not ready to go out on the town, and Dad tires easily. A quiet meal at home with my family feels like a dream come true. I never imagined spending another one with my dad,” she said, gripping his arm.
“What if you stayed a little longer at the ranch? We can go on a picnic in the meadow. The flowers have bloomed, and there’s a stream for the horses. Nancy can drive your dad to meet us,” he offered, keeping a firm hand on her waist, but moving a little farther away.
“He’ll have questions,” Caroline said. “I’m not sure I want him to see the cabins. It’s one thing for him to know what happened, but some of the women experienced worse than me. He’ll see them and picture me. I don’t want him to think of what happened to me. Then, there’s the kids. I want to wrap my arms around them and squeeze them tight. The men bother me most of all,” she confessed.
“Why?” he asked, curious as to why they bothered her.
“Because they peer at you with these haunted eyes. It’s like they’re saying, ‘I couldn’t protect myself, and I’m no longer a man’. People easily accept the idea of women and children getting harmed, but a man gets judged and considered weak. In all the time I spent with Cain, he took more pleasure in breaking a man’s spirit than in anything else.”
“Cain’s nothing more than a savage animal. Decent humans don’t enjoy others’ suffering. It doesn’t matter how much worse one of you got it than the other. It’s a disgrace to mankind any of you experienced it,” Jameson said heatedly, making her open her eyes and stare at him.
“The not knowing makes it worse,” she admitted, reaching for his wrist.
“I’m right here,” he assured her. “What do you not know?”
“What will happen to me. Will I get a job after they ask why my resume remained blank for six years? How do I reconcile my past to have a future? I feel…stuck. I can’t go forward, and I never want to go back,” she confided. “Therapy has taught me how to breathe through the panic attacks. It assures me it’s not my fault, but it can’t tell me how to live my life.”
Jameson sighed and drew her close to him. “Because only you can decide your fate. You will make your own choices and have a damn good life.”
Caroline floated, letting his words sink into her soul. When she went on with her future, where did it leave him? Her eyes drifted to the stubble along his jaw, the tattoo on his neck, and the bulging muscles around his shoulders. For months, they offered her a sense of security, a place of refuge from the storm. As much as she longed to stay in his arms, Caroline knew his last name stopped her from dreaming of a life with him.
“You’re doing great,” he said, sensing her drifting away. “How about we turn on your belly and kick with your feet?”
She complied easily, not wanting to see his face, and his eyes seemed to guess what she thought.
“Good. Now move your arms,” he instructed. “Bend your elbow slightly and keep kicking.”
Caroline followed his instructions and found herself moving through the water with him, barely holding on to her. It made her excited and sad at the same time. She missed his touch, but eventually, he’d have to let go.
Jameson yanked her foot, sending the water around her swirling in her face. She panicked and stopped kicking, reaching for his arm. Caroline gulped a healthy dose of water, sending her into a coughing fit as his strong hands pulled her back into his embrace and rubbed her back.
“I’m sorry. You swam fast and headed toward the deep end. I didn’t want you to feel frightened,” he said, placing her on his knee while she sputtered and regained her breath.
