Jameson laughed and slapped his knee. “Damn. If only I could be a fly on the wall.”
Matthew lay his head back against the cushions. “I love her.”
“Are you trying to convince yourself or me?” he asked, watching his friend.
“I don’t know what’s going on in her head,” Matthew confided. “I got a notification today from the credit card company for a twenty-seven-hundred-dollar purchase. When I confronted her about it, she stayed mum. Normally, she’d try to seduce me or something. This time, she didn’t even bother to explain.”
“Have you given any thought to Caroline’s suggestion? Does Rachel do it to feel better about herself, or in an attempt to catch your attention?” Jameson surmised.
Rubbing his forehead, Matthew groaned. “I don’t know. I try talking to her, and we end up fighting. When I told her a wedding planner didn’t have a place in our office duringbusiness hours, she stormed out. I believe she’s very upset with Riley and Garrett getting married before us.”
“You two got engaged first,” Jameson reasoned. “It only stands to reason she might feel slighted you won’t set a date.”
“I’ve saved money,” Matthew said uneasily. “Rachel’s used to the finer things in life. I know she’s changed, but I’m aware she still loves her spa days and traveling at the drop of a hat. I planned a European honeymoon at the best hotels and reserved a few tables at restaurants. If she keeps spending money like water, I’ll have to dip into my fund.”
“Shit. She’s spending that much?” he asked, surprised.
“Yeah. We’ve agreed to a budget, and then she blows it. When I question her, she avoids me. I don’t even want to think about the designer wedding gown. I recall Chase saying she planned to wear several dresses during their wedding day before he cancelled it. Who cares if some guy in France made it? The wedding planner even left me books from fancy designers and shit.”
“Bro, sit her down and talk about it. Why won’t you follow your own advice?” Jameson grumbled. “Rachel may like to smell nice and wear pretty things, but this place has changed her. The planner may remember your fiancée from the old version and not the new one.”
“Things sound different this time. I thought the stress of her father’s trial caused this sudden increase in spending and tantrums. Something’s bothering her, and she refuses to discuss it. I may have to resort to drastic measures,” he said more to himself than to Jameson.
“Like what?” Jameson asked.
“Forget about it,” Matthew said, scratching his overgrowth along his jaw. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“You already did. What do you mean?” Jameson insisted.
Matthew shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He narrowed his eyes and gazed at him. “This stays between us.”
When he nodded, Matthew continued.
“You know, I met Rachel in Serenity, after she and Chase broke up. She did everything in her power to tear Chase and Kassie apart. The night of their rehearsal dinner, she burst into the barn, determined to create a scene. I drove her back to the bed and breakfast and sobered her up. She acted like a damn spoiled brat. I told her if she didn’t stop her tantrum, I’d spank her. She dared me. I explained I wasn’t kidding. She said, try me. I bent her over and tanned her ass. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen her cry real tears, not those damn crocodile ones she gave everyone else. Afterward, she cuddled into me, and I saw my first glimpse of the real woman hiding in there.”
“Holy shit. I’m surprised she didn’t take a baseball bat to your head,” Jameson exclaimed.
“I knew a Dom while I served in the Navy. He said some women can’t release their emotions. Spankings help them release their feelings,” he explained. “I watched Rachel’s ass wiggle in those short skirts, trying to catch Chase’s attention for way too long. He only had eyes for Kassie. When she acted up, my hand itched to touch and slap her ass to teach her a lesson.”
Jameson chuckled. “I’m hearing she turned you on and you wanted to touch her ass. Where did the discipline come in?”
“I don’t know which one of us got punished more. Once I put my hands on her, something inside of me shifted. I wanted her more than life itself, and she only had feelings for Chase,” Matthew said quietly. “We had sex for the first time that night. If given a chance to do it over again, I would’ve walked away and learned more about the woman who cried in my arms. I don’t regret it, but I ran from her later, and we wasted time going in circles. I see these women come here, and they’re too young to get tainted by these sick bastards. They’ll never havetheir innocence back. They won’t trust men. If they do, there will always be a part of them who second-guesses how she feels or his actions. Tread carefully with Caroline.”
Jameson nodded, letting the advice sink in. “I want to comfort her and feel like we did before she knew about my father. Now she runs hot and cold. I can’t seem to do anything right.”
“It’s not you,” Matthew told him. “She’s angry, hurt, and vulnerable. You represented her safety until you revealed your last name. Caroline will have to come to terms with it, or you’ll never have a chance. You’ll have to prove you’re not like your father.”
“It kills me she even puts me in the same category,” Jameson said, sighing. “I don’t know what to do. How can I fight against a ghost?”
“Stay consistent,” Matthew suggested. “Invite her and her family out for ice cream, dinner, or take a walk around the block. Start small and work your way up.”
Jameson chewed on his lip. “Last night didn’t go as planned. Her dad invited me, and she seemed mad.”
Matthew leaned in, resting his elbows on his knees. “She’s scared. We all saw how she searched for you when she entered a room. Caroline feels comfortable around you. I imagine it’s traumatizing to think you have feelings for the son of the monster who put her in this position. She questions her own judgment and most likely feels she doesn’t know you at all. Let her get to know the real you.”
“What if I screw her up more?” he asked, glancing up to meet Matthew in the eyes.
“Only a man who loves a woman asks those questions. You have two choices. Walk away and let her go, or fight the demons she has,” Matthew said before rising. “I need to get home. It’s time Rachel and I have a conversation.”
