“Or you can let Jameson drive you,” Riley spoke up. “Give him time to talk to you.”
“Here,” Rebecca handed her a new cell phone. “Matthew set this up for you. We can track your location. If you prefer Jameson doesn’t know, we won’t tell him. It’s an extra layer for your security. We give each survivor one. We added our numbers, and can send someone to help you. Survivors who choose to return home still have us monitor their location. If we see anything out of the ordinary, we pay them a visit.”
“I kicked him out tonight. One minute I thanked him for reuniting me with my dad, and then I ordered him to leave,” she confessed. “I doubt he wants to take me.”
Rachel grabbed her forehead and rubbed it. “You’re giving me a headache. You survived the worst thing humanity can suffer and came out on the other end. Instead of recalling the fact that Jameson spent months searching for you and obsessed over what they might’ve done to you after he left, you hear his last name and judge him by what his father did.”
Caroline’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m not ungrateful. I never thought I’d make it out alive from the metal cage. Part of me hears what you’re saying… I’m scared.”
“Then let us help you. You may never get over Jameson’s admission, and it’s all right. You have the right to have all these feelings after what you went through. But there may come a day when you regret running without working on this,” Rebecca said softly. “We’ll support you either way.”
“You will?” she asked hopefully, thinking they’d take Jameson’s side.
“Absolutely,” Rebecca assured her. “We’re your friends, too. We don’t come with conditions.”
“It doesn’t mean we won’t try to knock some sense into you,” Rachel warned her.
“We’ll always care about you,” Riley agreed.
“Delaney went to bed after she left the wedding. She’d tell you the same thing,” Rachel said, patting Caroline’s knees.
“Since we’re here, I overheard you and Matthew fighting at the wedding. I’m here to support you, too.” Caroline admitted.
Rachel sighed. “So, you’re putting me in the hot seat, some friend,” she teased sadly.
“What’s going on with you and Matthew?” Riley asked, sipping her tea.
Shrugging, Rachel leaned back against the couch. “I told you about his refusal over the wedding date. He says I manipulate him. It seems we’ve stayed at odds with each other lately. He thinks I changed for him. It may be partially true, but I wanted it.” She turned to Caroline. “I know you’ll find this hard to believe, but I’m not always a nice person.”
Rebecca and Riley fell over laughing.
“Ignore those two,” Rachel demanded. “I moved here from Seattle. I followed Matthew here. I stayed near Serenity Mountain, where I admit freely, I acted like a selfish bitch. Itreated people like shit. Matthew and I met at hotels, keeping our relationship a secret. Then, he ghosted me. You see, my past caught up with me. Even after I changed, Matthew didn’t believe me. I’m not like Rebecca and Delaney. They have a motherly instinct. I’m afraid I don’t have a single ounce, and Matthew wants kids.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry,” Caroline said, taking her hand.
Rachel ignored her. “I’ve tried volunteering when they have kids’ crafts in the community center. The noise bothers me. When the kids screech, I don’t know how to handle it. We all know I can’t cook. How will I feed it?”
“It’s not a goldfish,” Rebecca said, laughing. “I never thought to become a mom. I wanted a career more than anything. When I met Megan…something inside me changed. Many people don’t want children. I don’t understand the stigma associated with couples who don’t want them.”
“Matthew does,” Rachel said sadly. “What if I turn into my mother? I don’t want to stress my own kid out and expect them to obey orders like a robot.”
“It sounds like you’re more concerned about what kind of mother you’ll be. Have you voiced your concerns with Matthew?” Riley asked.
“I thought we came to discuss Caroline,” she said defensively. “I’m afraid if I don’t give him what he wants, he won’t marry me,” she admitted, glancing down where her engagement ring used to be.
“Then he’s not the one for you,” Caroline said softly. “Don’t get me wrong, Matthew’s a great guy. My mom used to say loving someone is easy. It’s loving someone, faults and all, make it true love.”
“It seems to me, you have feelings for Jameson,” Riley said, watching her friend.
“I thought I felt…something. Jameson always found a way to keep Cain from taking me to the auctions, especially when he became angry. He never snitched when I gave the younger ones extra fruit. When he asked me about Rebecca, I believed he cared about her. He promised to come for me, and he did.”
“See?” Rachel said. “You do remember the good things about him.”
“What if he felt obligated to find me? If he knew how I’d react, it makes sense why he stopped coming to see me. I racked my brain, thinking I did something wrong.”
“What does it matter? You don’t have feelings for him,” Rachel smirked. Caroline threw the couch pillow at her.
“None of us are perfect. We’re human beings with faults, and we make mistakes. I imagine Jameson has made his fair share, but he’s rescued more people than I can count, and he stayed hell-bent on finding you. It’d be a shame if you didn’t at least give him a chance,” Riley suggested.
