“She no longer confides in me like she used to, the way I still want to share everything with her.” Elizabeth cogitated for some moments, thinking about what she had seen over the years between her parents and other married couples in the family. She also considered that things were different between her and Charlotte. She came to a conclusion. “It is what happens when one marries, is it not?”
“Indeed, it is. When you were younger, all three of you girls have heard me speak of how a woman cleaves to her husband when they marry. That does not only refer to where a married woman lives; it is also with regard to all levels of the relationship. When you and Mary find and marry the person you love, and there is respect as well as love, then you will be true partners, which means you will share with each other first,” Edith explained. “This is what Jamey and Jane have both found in their partners. That does not mean that Jane will no longer confide in you about anything. However, the first person she will speak to is Richard, and in a good and equal marriage, there will be no secrets between husband and wife.” Just then a dreamy look came over her. “It is exactly what I have with your papa. You know, I am very close, and have been for close to forty years, to Aunts Elaine and Anne, do you not?”
“Yes, Mamma, I am aware of that.”
“No matter that we are sisters of the heart, the first person I speak to about anything is your father. The three of us do discuss much, but nothing like we used to before we married. That does not make us any less close to one another than we have always been. Lizzy, dear, it is a lesson you will learn, especially when you find that special someone you want to spend the rest of your life with; all will become clear. As you will remember our talk word for word, go over it in your head once you are engaged or, better yet, married. Review my words, and they will make sense to you.”
“Thank you, Mamma,” Elizabeth averred warmly. She stood and hugged Mamma before leaving the sitting room, feeling much better.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
As Elizabeth’s eighteenth birthday approached, her feelings for William deepened. She could no longer fool herself into thinking she was not falling in love with him, or possibly already in that state. Because of that, two days past, the day after they had removed from Hertfordshire to London, Elizabeth had asked Mamma how she would know if she was in love. As she did with everything else, Elizabeth could remember the conversation word-for-word.
She had found Mamma in her private sitting room and requested that they speak.
“Lizzy, you know I am always available for one of my children,” Mamma had replied. “Sit, dearest, and tell me what it is that is bothering you. I have seen that at times you are trying to solve some great puzzle, but I did not want to approach you until you were ready to seek my counsel, as you are now.”
“You know me so well,” Elizabeth had said as she took a seat on the settee next to her mother. She had paused as she gathered her thoughts. “I know that I have very tender feelings for William, and I have had for more than a year already, but how do I know if I am in love with him, or for that matter, if he is in love with me?”
“That is an age-old question. I have not asked William about his feelings, and neither has your Aunt Anne, but we both believe he loves you and not as a cousin. As to your feelings, allow me to pose some questions.”
“Mamma, you may ask me anything you desire.”
“Lizzy, when William is not in your company, do you find yourself thinking of him, wondering where he is and what he is doing?”
“Yes, Mamma, I do. William fills my thoughts and dreams if I am not busy.”
“When you are in his company, do you feel fluttering in your belly, does your heart rate speed up, your breathing as well, and do you blush in his company far more than with any other?”
Elizabeth had nodded, acknowledging that all her mother asked occurred regularly.
“Now, my darling daughter, the most important and telling question. Is there any version of your future you can imagine where William is not at your side? Could you think of any other man who would be a good substitute for William? Do not forget that you will be exposed to many new men after you come out. The question though, is do you have the inclination to seek another man? Or is that a waste of time because William is the only man you desire to be your partner?”
After cogitating about what her mother had just asked, Elizabeth had known what the reply was as clearly as anything she had ever known before. “No, I cannot think of a future without him. Also, I care not how many men I meet when I am out in society; none of them will ever replace William in my affections.”
“Then, dear daughter of mine, you are in love with William. It is the only explanation for the replies you have given me.”
“Mamma, will you and Papa tell William that if he is so inclined, he need not wait for my full season to pass before he declares himself? I do not want any other man to think that my eye will fall on him as a possible suitor.”
“Yes, Lizzy, your father and I will have that discussion with William after your coming-out ball. And before you ask, yes, he will be permitted to dance two sets with you. Even though Papa danced the opening set with you at the ball before Charlotte and Jamey’s wedding, he will still claim your first set when you come out in London society.”
“Thank you, Mamma!” Elizabeth had slid to sit next to her mother so she could hug her. “Now, I need to wait for William to speak.”
“You know the first Queen’s Drawing Room of the season will be on the first Thursday in March, almost a month after your birthday. You will need to be patient, which, as you are aware, is not always your strongest virtue.” Mamma had bussed Elizabeth’s cheek with an affectionate kiss. “Your ball will be two days later on the following Saturday. We will speak to William soon after your ball, so do not expect him to declare himself before then.”
Elizabeth had huffed. Mamma had the right of it; she was not very patient, but with about six or seven weeks to wait, she would have to be. One thing she did decide was that while she would behave within propriety, she would not disguise her feelings from William.
“Mamma, I have one more question.” Her mother had inclined her head for Elizabeth to proceed. “If our possible courtship and engagement is not as long as Jane and Richard waited, would you and Papa be sanguine with that?”
“As long as each is at least six weeks, then yes, neither your father nor I would object. You know that is all speculation now, do you not?”
She nodded. “Yes, Mamma, I am very much aware of that.”
Feeling much better about her future, and after kissing both of her cheeks, Elizabeth had left her mother in the sitting room.
From Netherfield Park, William had travelled to Rivington in Surrey to make sure all was in place for the spring planting, which would occur before early March thanks to the warmer climate in the south. Elizabeth was very pleased that before they departed, William had pledged to attend both her eighteenth birthday celebration, which would be celebrated on the fourth day of February because the next day was the Sabbath, and her presentation and the following ball.
Although Elizabeth had never doubted William would be present for all those events, it had warmed her heart that he had gone out of his way to tell her about his plans.
