“Please, Mama, there is nothing Mr. Collins can say to me which cannot be said in front of all of you,” Elizabeth tried. She did not miss the smirk on her eldest sister’s face as she preceded their mother out of the dining parlour.
“Mr. Collins, there is nothing you can say to me that would necessitate us being here alone,” Elizabeth attempted one more time. The smell was overpowering notwithstanding the man had bathed the day before.
“Believe me my dear Miss Elizabeth, your modesty, so far from doing you any disservice, rather adds to your other perfections. You would have been less amiable in my eyes had therenotbeen this little unwillingness; but allow me to assure you, as you heard her say herself, I have your respected mother’s permission for this address. You can hardly doubt the purpose of my discourse; however your natural delicacy may lead you to dissemble; my attentions have been too marked to be mistaken. Almost as soon as I entered the house, I singled you out as the companion of my future life. But before I am run away with my feelings on this subject, perhaps it would be advisable for me to state my reasons for marrying—and, moreover, for coming into Hertfordshire with the design of selecting a wife, as I certainly did.”
“It is interesting you say that, as Jane and I returned two days after you arrived and, if I am not mistaken, you first set your eye on Jane, so excuse me if I do not agree with your claim of an immediate attraction to me,” Elizabeth interjected. The idea of Mr. Collins, with all his solemn composure, being run away with his feelings, made Elizabeth so near laughing, she could not use the short pause he allowed in any attempt to stop him further, and he continued as if she had said nothing.
“My reasons for marrying are, first, that I think it a right thing for every clergyman in easy circumstances, like mine, to set the example of matrimony in his parish; secondly, that I am convinced that it will add very greatly to my happiness; and thirdly—which perhaps I ought to have mentioned earlier, that it is the particular advice and recommendation of the very noble lady whom I have the honour of calling patroness. Twice has she condescended to give me her opinion regarding matrimony without my having to ask on this subject.
“It was but the very Saturday night before I left Hunsford—between our pools at quadrille, while Mrs. Jenkinson was arranging Miss de Bourgh’s footstool, that she said, ‘Mr. Collins, you must marry. A clergyman like you must be married. Choose properly, choose a gentlewoman formysake; and for yourown, let her be an active, useful sort of person, not brought up to high, but able to make a small income go a good way. This is my advice. Find such a woman as soon as you can, bring her to Hunsford, and I will call on her.’ Allow me, by the way, to observe, my fair cousin, that I do not reckon the notice and kindness of Lady Catherine de Bourgh as among the least of the advantages in my power to offer.
“You will find her manners beyond anything I can describe; and your wit and vivacity, I think, must be acceptable to her, especially when tempered with the silence and respect which her rank will inevitably excite. So much for my general intention in favour of matrimony, it remains to be told why my views were directed towards Longbourn instead of my own neighbourhood, where I can assure you there are many amiable young women.”
“In that case, Mr. Collins, I suggest you seek one in your neighbourhood who would be open to a life with you. I am not, and I would never take so-called advice from your virago of a patroness,” Elizabeth again interjected, and again it was as if the man heard not one word she spoke.
He ploughed right on: “But the fact is, that being, as I am, to inherit this estate after the death of your honoured father who, however, may be blessed to live many years longer or could be taken soon, I could not satisfy myself without resolving to choose a wife from among his daughters, that the loss to them might be as little as possible, when the melancholy event takes place—which, however, as I have already said, may not be for several years. This has been my motive, my fair cousin, and I flatter myself it will not sink me in your esteem. And now nothing remains for me but to assure you in the most animated language of the violence of my affection. To fortune I am perfectly indifferent and shall make no demand of that nature on your father, since I am well aware that it is not something with which he could comply; and that one thousand pounds in the four percents, which will not be yours till after your mother’s decease, is all that you may ever be entitled to receive. On that head, therefore, I shall be uniformly silent; and you may assure yourself that no ungenerous reproach shall ever pass my lips when we are married.”
Elizabeth had no choice other than to interrupt him forcefully now. She prayed he would hear her this time. “You are too hasty, Sir,” she cried. “You forget that I have made no answer. Let me do it without further loss of time. Accept my thanks for the compliment you think you are paying me. I am very sensible of thehonourof your proposals, but it is impossible for me to do otherwise than to decline them.”
“I am well informed,” replied Mr. Collins, with a formal wave of the hand, “that it is usual with young ladies to reject the addresses of the man whom they secretly mean to accept, when he first applies for their favour; and that sometimes the refusal is repeated a second, or even a third time. I am therefore by no means discouraged by what you have just said and shall hope to lead you to the altar ere long.”
“Upon my word!” Elizabeth stated in an alarmed fashion, “Your hope is a rather extraordinary one after my declarations. I do assure you that I am not one of those young ladies, if such young ladies exist, who are so daring as to risk their happiness on the chance of being asked a second time. Never have I been more serious than I am in my refusal. You could not makemehappy, and I am convinced that I am the last woman in the world who could makeyouso. Nay, were your friend Lady Catherine to know me, I am persuaded she would find me in every respect ill-qualified for the situation.”
“Were it certain that Lady Catherine would think so,” said Mr. Collins very gravely—but I cannot imagine that her Ladyship would at all disapprove of you. And you may be certain when I have the honour of seeing her again, I shall speak in the very highest terms of your modesty, economy, and other amiable qualifications.”
“Mr. Collins, are you deficient of hearing and understanding? All the praise in the world will not change my answer. You must give me leave to judge for myself and pay me the compliment of believing what I say. I wish you very happy and very rich, and by refusing your hand, I do all in my power to prevent your being otherwise. In making me an offer, you must have satisfied the delicacy of your feelings with regard to my family and may take possession of Longbourn estate whenever you inherit it, without any self-reproach. This matter may be considered, therefore, as finally settled.” And rising as she thus spoke, she would have quitted the room, had Mr. Collins not blocked her exit.
He drew too close for comfort, which caused Elizabeth to take some steps back. She knew where to deliver a painful blow if it was needed. “When I do myself the honour of speaking to you next on the subject,” the bumbling parson continued, “I shall hope to receive a more favourable answer than you have now given me; though I am far from accusing you of cruelty at present, because I know it to be the established custom of your sex to reject a man on the first application, and perhaps you have even now said as much to encourage my suit as would be consistent with the true delicacy of the female character.”
“Really, Mr. Collins,” Elizabeth stated with much amazement, “you completed your studies, so how can you be so deficient of understanding? If what I have hitherto said can appear to you to be a form of encouragement, I know not how to express my refusal in such a way as to convince you of its being one.”
“You must give me leave to flatter myself, my dear cousin, that your refusal of my addresses is merely words, of course.” Collins puffed up his chest. “My reasons for believing it are briefly these: It does not appear to me that my hand is unworthy of your acceptance, or that the establishment I can offer would be any other than highly desirable. My situation in life, my connections with the family of de Bourgh, and my relationship to your own, are circumstances highly in my favour; and you should take it into further consideration, that in spite of your manifold attractions, it is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may ever be made you. Your portion is unhappily so small that it will in all likelihood undo the effects of your loveliness and amiable qualifications. As I must therefore conclude that you are not serious in your rejection of me, I shall choose to attribute it to your wish of increasing my love by suspense, according to the usual practice of elegant females.”
“Mr. Collins, you are thelastman in the world I would agree to marry! I would far prefer to remain unwedded rather than tie myself to one such as you.” Elizabeth saw the man blanch; it was the first time he seemed to consider she might mean her refusal seriously. “I do assure you I have no pretensions whatever to that kind of elegance which consists in tormenting a man. I would rather be paid the compliment of being believed sincere. I thank you again and again for thehonouryou have done me in your proposals, but to accept them is absolutely impossible. My feelings in every respect forbid it. Can I speak plainer? Do not consider me now as an elegant female, intending to plague you, but as a rational creature, speaking the truth from her heart.”
“You are uniformly charming!” cried he, with an air of awkward gallantry; “and I am persuaded that when sanctioned by the express authority of both your excellent parents, my proposals will not fail of being acceptable.”
To such perseverance in wilful self-deception Elizabeth would make no reply, and immediately and in silence withdrew. If he persisted in considering her repeated refusals as flattering encouragement, she might have to resort to other methods. She knew her father would be of no help, given how he always capitulated to his wife, so she attempted to dart around Mr. Collins.
Collins reached for Elizabeth and he soon found out just how strong her legs were when she administered a hard kick to his ankle with her half boots. Elizabeth escaped the dining parlour and almost knocked her mother and Jane over as she bolted. Collins stood howling as Elizabeth made a speedy exit.
Mr. Collins finally, with his painful ankle, understood the lady did not intend to accept him. “You played me for a fool, Mrs. Bennet. Miss Elizabeth refused me and she kicked me!”
“Do not worry, Mr. Collins, my husband will order her to accept you and then you may train her in the ways of an obedient wife,” Fanny Bennet placated the man and then made for her husband’s study with all haste.
Jane held her peace for now; she suspected nothing her father said would change Lizzy’s mind. She would make a suggestion to her mother if that happened, as she believed she knew what would force her sister’s compliance.
Collins got a malevolent look on his face as he imagined how much pleasure he would take in disciplining Elizabeth Bennet after she was forced to marry him.
Chapter 12
Bennet was pouring a fresh glass of port when his study door flew open and his wife burst in, followed by Jane. “Mr. Bennet, you must call that wilful daughter into your study right now. Mr. Collins has proposed and she has refused him. We are all aflutter and it must be corrected before Mr. Collins refuses to accept Lizzy. The hoyden kicked him!” Fanny Bennet screeched.
“Bring her to me,” Bennet waved dismissively. He was sure Lizzy would refuse to do what she was told and that would be the end of it.
As they stepped out of the study, Jane pulled her mother aside. Neither noticed the study door was not closed all the way. “Mama, Lizzy will refuse…” Before her mother could protest Jane briefly explained the church law regarding refusal to recite the vows. “There is one way we can force her to accept Mr. Collins…” Jane explained her suggestion to her mother.
“You are a clever girl, Jane; it will be so,” Fanny stated. “Go find that wilful girl.
