As it was, she drew on the strength of the Gardiners’ love. She was as close to her four Gardiner cousins as she was to any of her sisters. Elizabeth could never understand why it was, the children did not like Jane, nor she them during the times she had come to London with Elizabeth.
The truth Elizabeth would not allow herself to notice was she had seen things in Jane which did not sit well with her. She did not understand her heart was protecting her from such understanding. There was only so much pain she could endure; as long as she felt Jane was on her side, she felt tethered to Longbourn and her family there.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
A few evenings after the assembly, the Netherfield party joined others from the neighbourhood at Lucas Lodge. Darcy had seen Miss Elizabeth walk each morning but had not approached her. He knew he needed to apologise, but he was fighting against his pride, so he was not yet ready to do so.
Yes, he was attracted to her in a way he had never been to any other woman, but he could not do anything about it. She was too far below him and, if what Miss Bingley had gleaned about the Bennets had a modicum of truth to it, they had neither dowries nor connections to speak of.
How could he honour his name, that of his father and all of the Darcys before him, by attaching himself to one who was barely a member of the third circles. His father had told him to marry for love, but he had also said to marry well. At least she was not a tradesman’s daughter like the pretentious Miss Bingley.
No matter what he told himself, he was drawn to Miss Elizabeth like a moth is drawn to a flame. The moth will be burnt, but it approaches the danger, nevertheless. Darcy watched the lady intently as she spoke to a militia colonel. Evidently the Derbyshire Militia would encamp near Meryton soon and Colonel Forster and some of his officers, part of the advance party, were present.
Elizabeth turned to her friend. “What do you think Mr. Darcy means by staring at one who is only tolerable and listening to our conversation?” she asked Charlotte archly. “Do I have a blemish on my face?”
“Eliza, behave,” Charlotte admonished. “The man is a guest in my father’s house, after all.”
“You have my apologies. You are correct,” Elizabeth acknowledged.
Jane Bennet was becoming more frustrated by the minute. She had attempted to draw Mr. Darcy into conversation a few times and had not extracted more than a one-word answer from him; at the same time, he stared longingly at Elizabeth.
How could it be he seemed to have eyes only for Elizabeth, after her sister mocked the man at the assembly and avoided him at Lucas Lodge? It was not to be borne! Jane knew what she had to do—she needed to get Lizzy to play the pianoforte. Once Mr. Darcy saw how deficient she was, he would turn to her, as he was supposed to.
“Lizzy dearest, will you not entertain us at the instrument tonight?” Jane asked sweetly.
“Yes, Eliza, it is time for you to sit at the pianoforte and play for us,” Charlotte agreed.
“Some in our company have heard true proficients in Town; I would not want to torture them with my poor playing,” Elizabeth tried to demur.
“Come now, Lizzy, false modesty does not become you,” Jane pushed.
“In that case, I will play. Jane, you need to save your breath to cool your porridge, I will use mine to swell my voice in song,” Elizabeth teased her older sister.
Elizabeth sat at the already-opened upright and found some music she had practiced more than most. She began to play and, other than Fanny Bennet, everyone stopped talking to listen to her.
Jane was not happy. Obviously it was a piece her sister had practised often. Rather than pushing Mr. Darcy away, it seemed he was listening to her with rapt attention. Jane was standing a little behind Mr. Darcy when Miss Caroline Bingley sidled up to him. It amused Jane that the woman tried to take one of the man’s arms, but he resolutely placed his arms behind his back. She did, however, overhear their entire conversation.
“I can guess the subject of your reverie,” Miss Bingley stated conspiratorially.
“I should imagine not,” Darcy replied disinterestedly.
“You are considering how insupportable it would be to pass many evenings in this manner—in such society; and indeed, I am quite of your opinion. I was never more disgusted! The insipidity, and yet the noise—the nothingness, and yet the self-importance of all those people! What would I give to hear your strictures on them!” Miss Bingley sniffed as if there were a bad smell in the room.
“Your conjecture is totally wrong, I assure you. My mind was more agreeably engaged. I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow,” Darcy said absentmindedly.
Jane smiled to herself, thinking he meant her while the ridiculous tradesman’s daughter thought he referred to herself. Jane straightened her skirts and was prepared to stand close to Mr. Darcy once he put the over-scented woman in her place.
Miss Bingley immediately fixed her eyes on Mr. Darcy’s face and wanted to know what lady had inspired such reflections.
“Miss Elizabeth Bennet,” Mr. Darcy replied before he thought about his answer. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew he had erred by being open with the shrew.
“Miss Elizabeth Bennet!” repeated Miss Bingley as she got a decidedly pinched look on her face. “I am all astonishment. How long has she been such a favourite? Pray, when am I to wish you joy?”
Jane Bennet burned with anger as her mouth tasted bitter, as if she had sucked on a lemon. She knew she had to maintain her serene façade; she could not expose herself before their neighbours. She paid attention to Mr. Darcy and Miss Bingley once again.
“That is exactly the question which I expected you to ask. A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment. I knew you would be wishing me joy,” Darcy mocked.
“Nay, if you are serious about it, I shall consider the matter as absolutely settled. You will have a charming mother-in-law, indeed; of course, she will always be at Pemberley with you.” Miss Bingley missed the fact she had been ridiculed.
