“It must be hard to see me like this, Helen, my sweet daughter,” her father rasped, each breath a mix between a wheeze and a gasp. “It is why I desired that you remember me as I was.”
“No, Papa,” Helen smiled sadly and straightened up as she met his eyes. “I am stronger than you think. In that, I am like Mama. She was the strongest lady we knew, and my sister you gifted me reminded me that we have also earned our strength. You did everything that a parent should and could to make sure that Tim and I would not be left alone. I love all my new sisters and am treated like one of the family by everyone, but it would have been far harder for me if I did not have this time to say hello and goodbye to you. If it is for the last time or the last time this season. I wanted to come while the three of us are all still here and to remind Tim that I love him as much as he loves me, and to make sure he knew that there was no need to be upset for needing this time with you. You both have been supportive of me all my days; I wanted the opportunity to offer you mine because my love for you would not allow anything else.” She smiled, her Jacobson men not the only ones crying.
“Helen has the right of it, Papa,” Tim said as he looked at their father while hugging his sister. “I know that there is nothing that can change the inevitable, but this time is necessary; this chance for all three of us to be together.”
“It seems that the children are wiser than the parent,” Mr Jacobson said as he smiled sadly and was helped back into the bath chair. “I am very happy to see you, Helen. It truly is a gift from God that I am still here to be able to hug you again.”
Helen introduced the people that had accompanied her. Her father was taken to rest and have a tincture to relieve his pain while Helen and Tim showed the guests to their chambers. The house was smaller than Longbourn’s had been before the renovation, but was very comfortable. Darcy and Lizzy had their own chamber, but Helen and Lydia would share, as would Georgie and Kitty. Tiffany, Lily, and Loretta had wanted to come to support Helen, but due to the limited space at the house they would see her again at Ashbury.
Mr Jacobson ate almost nothing besides broths and other liquid nourishment, taking his meals in his room. His son and daughter ate with him privately and the guests were glad they had the opportunity to create these private memories as a family before he went to join his most loved wife in heaven.
During the days, Darcy worked with Tim to answer any questions about estate management and to help him wherever he could, even if it was to confirm that Tim was making decisions that would have positive effects for his estate. Tim was thinking about the changes made to their small family and those still to come. He had been asked by everyone to drop the formal appellations and to use their familiar names. He could see that the Bennets were his sister’s family as much as he was. As much as he did not want to become master of Janet’s Well, he knew that there was no choice in the matter; he had to make his parents proud of him and be the best master that he could be. He was brought out of his reverie as he heard Darcy speak.
As they were sitting on horses surveying a field, Darcy turned to the younger man and met his eyes, “Tim, you do realise that when I marry Elizabeth in a fortnight that Helen will be my sister which will make you a brother. As such, any time that you need help or have questions, please contact me. You will be gaining a slew of brothers and family in the deal, so while you may feel alone here on the estate, you will never be alone. Besides myself, there will be a plethora of those willing to assist you as needed. But I want you to know that you have a man who will very much take his guardianship seriously and will come here to help you, with or without Helen.
“I was lucky to have my Uncle after my own dearest father was called to heaven but I did not ask for help or spend enough time with my family. In my pride and conceit, I felt it was a sign of weakness to accept too much help; my mistake was in thinking that help should only be about business matters. Family is important for many reasons, and while none of us would attempt to take your father’s place, we will support you when the inevitable happens, so please let us help you. Spending too much time alone afterwards will turn you into a man you soon will not be able to recognise. I beseech you to learn from my errors and not to repeat them.”
The younger man choked up. He had never thought that he would be accepted by so many members of the first circles, let alone considered family by them and a brother to some. “Thank you, William. That means so very much, and even more that you are all so close to Helen and can look out for her while I help Papa. I would lay down my own life if it meant that Papa would be well, but I know that he will be called by God to join Mama very soon. I promise you that I will take the advice you give to heart. The burden will be much lighter knowing that I will not be alone. I thank you, all of you, for your support and your guidance.” Neither of the two were overly comfortable with an overt display of emotions felt between them, so they continued their ride and eventually returned to the stables.
Darcy saw Lizzy walking in the garden and joined her. “Hello, my love.” He came up behind his unsuspecting affianced.
“Ooh,” she started and turned to him, “William, my love, I did not hear you but I am glad you came to find me. I missed you. Were you able to help Tim today?”
“Yes, my dearest, loveliest Elizabeth. We covered a lot of ground. I made sure that he knows that when the inevitable comes to pass he will not be alone,” he imparted to her and nodded when she looked at him in surprise. “In my ‘manly’ pride I made the mistake of thinking I could only ask for help when it was about my estate or business. The understanding of family being there for family was only something I learned when I was smart enough to fall in love with you.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
“You are the best man I know, William.” She rose on her tip toes and kissed his cheek.
“You make me want to be a better man, my love,” he responded, his words filled with the emotions he professed.
“No matter what my influence, love, if you were not innately a good man it would all be for naught,” she reminded him. They reached a point that was out of sight of the house and Darcy took advantage of the privacy by sweeping her into his arms, kissing her ardently, his tongue seeking hers with urgency and passion.
Her arms wound around his neck, one hand clutching to him and the other ruffled his dark, unruly curls.
He drew her into him tightly and felt the lines of her body through the thin material of her dress and she the feel of a bulge pushing against her belly through his breeches. Their breathing turned shallow as their desire and passion intensified, almost reaching the point of no return.
It was with great strength of will that he broke the embrace. He separated from her in all ways but the most important, his forehead against hers as they caught their breaths, when mostly regulated he slid his fingers down her wrist to capture her hand, their fingers interlaced. “I am so sorry that I allowed myself to take such liberties, Elizabeth…” he winced at what she must think of him.
“Do notdareapologise, Fitzwilliam Darcy!” she cut him off midsentence. “If you did something wrong then I am a wanton hussy,” she pushed back.
He stared at her aghast at her saying so when he was so grateful…and then he understood. She wanted him, and knowing it, having been gifted the proof was worth the hours he would lay in agony for her, dreaming of her tonight and every moment that she was not in his presence.
“What transpired was welcomed by me as much as you were willing to give it,” she challenged him with arched eyebrow to meet her as a man who ached for her and proved he wanted her as much as she wanted him or more so.
“Just when I think I have finally found the depth of my love for you; you show me that we are just starting to plumb the depths. God, I love you, Elizabeth. I cannot wait for us to marry. But I feel this is the right moment to admit that like you, I too am…have been chaste.” He held his breath as he waited for her response.
“That only enhances you in my mind, William. We will learn, experiment and teach each other. There is too much love between us for me to worry about that aspect of our life. I too love you more than I have words to express, but if we give into the passion, it seems our hearts know exactly how to guide us, and both of us are great readers,” she teased, again straightening the front of her dress.
‘How does she know…she cannot, I am sure it was a tease. I will intensify my studies from the special books that my dear father left me, I will be educated on our wedding night!’ He promised himself silently as he laughed and nodded, sighing in relief and again forced to admit that she was seeing things more clearly than he was.
They put themselves to rights and returned to the house, both taking pleasure in their extended family and while they stayed physically connected most of the evening, they kept their eye contact minimally so they would not forget others were close by.
The next day the Bennet and Fitzwilliam carriages made a stop at Janet’s Well. Knowing that this goodbye, this final goodbye, would be very hard for Helen and Tim, the Bennet parents, the newlywed Fitzwilliams, and Mary and her betrothed had decided to make a visit on their way to Ashbury.
Bennet met with Mr Jacobson and their now shared children in the master’s chambers. It was in this meeting that the Earl revealed the changes to Helen’s dowry and the legacy for Tim.
When the flabbergasted Jacobsons all tried to object saying that the Bennets were doing far too much, Bennet held up a hand and they were collectively silenced. He explained that the amounts were very small compared to his other children, and his conscience could not do less, even though the amounts were less than he preferred.
“Father Bennet, I do know how much Lydia’s dowry is and I understand that it hurt you not to just match hers in what you have done for us. Your family’s generosity knows no bounds; this gift is more than just money. What you have gifted us is a new opportunity to see that the Jacobson name thrives. I may even make my husband take my name to have the name continued by myself as well as Tim,” she joked as she took his hand in hers and kissed it. “Your restraint is appreciated. I fear I would have fainted had you forced me to become an heiress like Lydia is!” she sighed in relief and winked at her Papa, making him chuckle and shake his head in awe at the woman his daughter had become.
